5.31.2001

Picture Time

"Glowing gold at its center and ringed by a purplish halo, a nearby galaxy holds a vast, stellar nursery with dusty and clean areas for newborn stars, a new Hubble Space Telescope image showed Thursday."

Kinda Cute Animal Picture.

Red Wolf...isn't that a beer?

When are we going to stop laying the blame elsewhere? I agree with those who say that racism is a societal and cultural problem, not a mental illness. Individuals like Buford Furrow - or those wastes of human flesh who dragged James Byrd to his death a few years back in Texas - who commit extremely violent hate crimes may suffer from a mental illness, but it sure as hell isn't racism. Their racism is a manifestation of a deeper psychological problem. It's a copout. Those that they lash out against are scapegoats for their own inadequacies.

"Do be careful with this one, 007."..more on the SmarTruck. I want.

5.30.2001

Have you ever had one of those perfect moments, where all the shit of every day life drops away and you realize that the only thing important in this world are the people you love? I think most of us don't recognize those moments when we are in them, as rare as they are; the moment needs to be reflected back upon you in order for you to see its perfection.

I had one of those moments Sunday night. I was together with my 2 sisters, Sheila and Mary, at Mary's house in Rhode Island. Mary's husband and kids were in bed and the 3 of us were watching "Miss Congeniality". During one of our many pauses for bathroom and snack trips, one of us said something that we all thought was just the funniest damn thing anyone has ever said. There we were, 3 grown women aged 36, 34 and 32, lying around the living room in our pajamas and sleeping bags, illuminated only by the electric-blue glow of the television, all laughing so hard we couldn't see each other for the tears in our eyes. Once we calmed down, wiped our eyes and made yet another run to the bathroom after almost wetting our respective pants, we went back to watching the movie. (Don't bother btw - it's not nearly as funny as we are).

It wasn't until I was driving back home to Connecticut the next day that I realized how lucky I am to have the relationship I have with my sisters. No matter how screwed up life gets, no matter how daunting and unpredictable the future may seem, we will always have each other, as corny as that sounds. Those simple, perfect moments, where everything that we think we are is stripped away and all that is left is what we are to each other, those are what make all the other shit worthwhile.

Picture Time

Cute animal!...he's kind of slimy-looking, I know. But look at those eyes.

Road Hog!...Oh, man! Sheds a whole new light on rush hour.

and one more...

Take me out to the ball game.

That Must Have Been SOME Candy

I D A H O F A L L S, Idaho They won't have his fingerprints to tie him to the crime, but police say a thief didn't make it too difficult to catch him.

The man was careful enough to wipe away his prints after breaking into a vehicle, police say, but he didn't notice it was an unmarked police car. Or that its driver, Lt. Royce Clements, was watching him from across the street.

Even though the car was unmarked, the thief might have known he hadn't picked the best target. It had police lights in the window, a police radio on the dashboard and a police jacket on the back seat.

That didn't deter the man from breaking in and stealing a lighter, cigarettes and candy from the car, police said.

Neither did the fact that Clements was watching the scene from about 15 feet away, he told the Idaho Falls Post Register.

Once he'd made off with his haul, the man got in his own car and drove off, as Clements got into his vehicle and followed.

Clements then pulled him over and arrested him. [abcnews.com]
Here's a fairly concise commentary on the Kaycee Nicole hoax. It's ancient news by now, but I thought the article might be appreciated by some.

Why can't I ever remember to watch Dennis Miller? He's one of the best things on TV, yet the only time I ever catch his show is when I stumble upon it while channel surfing. Why is that? Whatever the reason, I can be thankful that at least HBO posts his rants online.

My favorite portion of his latest, The War on Tobacco, dated 5/18/2001:

"Our war on tobacco is a microcosm for a fundamental contradiction in the American psyche. We see ourselves as independent, livin'-my-life-without-the-government-on-my-back Marlboro men until something goes wrong, whereupon we turn into whiny, litigious crybabies looking for someone to foot the bill for our fuckups.

Currently there's a raft of ex-smokers suing tobacco companies because they got sick, and I just don't think that's right. Sure, I hate tobacco companies and think they sell a quintessentially evil product, and then lie insidiously through their yellowed teeth, all the while trading in their venal, profiteering souls for a lucrative paycheck in this life, knowing full well they'll spend all of time having their flesh raked by the fiery claws of Hell, while the cries of all their victims resonate in their ears for all eternity. That being said, I hate lawyers even more. "


If you'd like to read the entire rant, go to Dennis Miller Live and click on the red Rant link. A javascript window will pop-up containing the most current rant. If you get a chance, go back and read some older rants in the Rant Archive, accessible at the bottom of the pop-up window.

Okay, could I have said "rant" more often than I just did in that last paragraph?

5.29.2001

One of the recent installments of HBO's America Undercover series profiled the photographer Spencer Tunik, who somehow convinces large masses of people to pose nude in public places. His latest photograph was taken this past weekend in Montreal. You know, you can barely tell the difference between the men and the women from this distance.

I went to a Blimpie's to get a sandwich for lunch today. They have an ice cream/frozen yogurt counter in there as well, at which stood an old man and an old woman, waiting to be served. When the counter help finished with me he turned to the old couple. They must have been with these 2 old ladies who were already seated at a table, because as I was pouring my soda, I hear the old man yell across the restaurant:

"What'd you want? Strawberry??"

To which one of the seated ladies replied:

"Yeah, yeah, vanilla!"

At this response, the old man yells,

"What size, medium??"

To which the old lady at the table replied,

"Yeah, yeah, small!"

I wonder what she ended up getting? Whatever, it was good for a mid-day chuckle.

Invisibles #25!

5.27.2001

Happy Birthday, Tommy!!

Today is my little brother's birthday. He turns a whopping 25 today. Good Lord. Where did all that time go? He's a Broward County Deputy Sheriff down in Florida now.

well, shucks, Andy

Ain't he a looker?

Have a great day, Tommy. I miss you!

5.25.2001

How about a couple more Name Generators?

Super Hero Name Generator - this is completely random and requires no information from you. The first name that came up was The Sensual Infrared Soldier! Not bad, but not quite me, not the Super Hero name I wanted for myself. I continued to click until I found it - - The Elusive Drunken Lady! Fighting crime in bars everywhere, leaving no beer untouched. I'll need some dark sunglasses, a utility belt for my cigarettes, and a cape, of course.

If you prefer a more noble moniker, try the

Jedi Name Generator - you'll need to enter a little information about yourself in this one. My Jedi name? DARRE NODAN of the planet Claritin. LOL. A Jedi from a planet of allergy sufferers. Now, where did I put my hypo-allergenic light saber?

[links courtesy usr/bin/girl]

I'm not dead yet!

New Dehli's monkey-man is only the tip of the iceberg.

In Patna, residents recently witnessed a disturbing, albeit virtuous, new trend. In November, a group of 14 monkeys began marching routinely, single file, around an office building. It turned out to be an anti-smoking crusade. As soon as the marchers spotted someone lighting up, they would charge, dashing over to the smoker, extinguishing his cigarette and slapping him several times in the face. In some cases, they would also dig through the smoker's pockets and remove the entire pack.

Geez, and I thought smokers were persecuted here in the states!

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

5.24.2001

Some of you may have noticed that the comment link at then end of each blog entry has not been working the past couple of days. I just found out that the problem is due to some technical difficulty at BlogVoices - well, with their T1 line. So for now the comment link will be unavailable. I'll let you know when it's back.

Chickens still on the loose...

"Since the three light-brown chickens disappeared, the fair has received more than a dozen calls with tips and chicken sightings, Morganti says. Among them was a person reporting that her neighbor had a suspicious number of chickens in his back yard and a high school where several chickens were released in the hall as a prank.

"I don't know why chickens are all of sudden running around the area," Morganti says. "Evidently there are chickens all over and I just never heard about it."

Boger has urged the community to search for chickens reading the newspaper -- "They're pretty smart," he says -- or playing games.

Asked if the intelligent fowl could have opened the cages themselves and made a run for it, Boger is doubtful:

"They're not Houdini," Boger says, "they're just Tic, Tac, Toe." " [CNN]

5.23.2001

Spy cruise, you say? Where do I sign up?!

|||||

"Downing a protein bar and keeping your face cool may be all it takes to prevent motion sickness." Oh, if only I'd known. My father wouldn't have had to stop the truck on the side of Mt. Washington so I could get some air, backing traffic up for what seemed liked miles. I wouldn't have missed seeing the whales on a high school field trip because I was at the back of the boat tossing my lunch overboard. Now I just have to figure out how to keep a cold compress on my face while riding a roller coaster. I suppose the G-forces would take care of that.

Well, Whadya Know

What's the purpose of that snap-box contraption they clack in front of a movie camera just before filming a take?

The purpose of this mysterious ritual is to synchronize the soundtrack with the picture. In the editing room during post-production, the editor can align the soundtrack for the entire scene by synchronizing the clack sound with the frame in which the box - it's called a clapboard - is snapped closed.

[source: The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams]

Why do we say that someone who is kept in isolation is in "quarantine?"

The word quarantine originated in the Middle Ages with the most famous epidemic in Western history, the black plague. Forty days appeared to be the incubation period for this dread disease and in Italy, they simply called this period, in which you were kept away from everyone, the "quarantina," Italian for the number forty.

[source: A Browser's Dictionary by John Ciardi]

Why do we call a computer problem a glitch?

The word glitch is relatively new, a product of the space age and the era of advanced electronics. It comes from the German "glitschen," and via the Yiddish, "glitshen." Both mean, "to slip."

[source: The Secret Lives of Words by Paul West]

What's your hockey name?

My Russian name: Commie Dardisov - Not bad, if a bit unoriginal.

My Canadian name: Gordie McDardisdyk - Sounds like a pornographic McDonald's breakfast sandwich - no thank you!

My French-Canadian name: Poutine Le Dardiseau - Ooo! I like!

[link courtesy elise]

At last, a horoscope I can live with:

Cancer: (June 22--July 22) You'll no longer wonder if you have what it takes after finding out that it takes a weak will, a pot belly, and a full complement of cable channels.

[source: the onion]

Attention baseball movie fans: The latest Filmwise Invisibles Quiz is up - #24 - The Boys (and Girls) of Summer. I'm holding steady at 5 out of 8.

In Chicken News...

B E N S A L E M, Pa. Did somebody X-out the tick-tack-toe-playing chickens at the Pennsylvania Fair?

Three of the six famed hens went missing last weekend.

Their owners and trainers, Kelly and Steve Boger, say they discovered the chickens' cages empty last Saturday. No other animals were missing.

The birds use a special cage to compete against fairgoers, who pay 25 cents a game to match wits at tick-tack-toe. If the chickens win, they get more feed.

If the thieves weren't interested in the birds' brainpower, they might have been eyeing them as snacks.

"People stand in line to play with these chickens," fair spokeswoman Carole Morganti told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "They are very fat."

[source: abcnews.com]

When I had heard that Clinton White House staffers had removed the "w"s from the office computers on their way out the door, I thought it was a pretty cute prank. But then things got weird. There was word of real vandalism, and people stealing things as they left. Yes, I can be naive, but I found much of what the press was saying hard to believe. Were the Clintons really the white trash that their opposition accused them of being? Apparently not. Funny how the original story, defamatory and based on rumor and speculation, was plastered over every front page, while the story about its inaccuracy has somehow manage to stay buried.

5.22.2001

A Chicago woman takes a bite outta crime.

Today's cute animal picture... I can't say for sure how practical this is, but they do look smashing in their woolies!

History repeating itself? "Afghanistan's Taliban rulers, already isolated by their harsh brand of Islam and poor treatment of women, announced plans to make Hindus wear an identity label on their clothing to distinguish them from Muslims."

Jesus, what will they think of next? About a week ago, Ev posted a message at blogger about a member of the blog community, "Kaycee", who had succumbed that day to leukemia. Her blog chronicled her fight with this disease. I had never heard about her before, but followed Ev's link and read some of her journal entries, including one from "Debbie", her friend, on the day she died. It was all very sad.

Well, come to find out, the entire thing was a hoax. The guy who provided server space for Kaycee's blog, BWG, was also duped and is feeling especially betrayed [be sure to read this page in chronological order - from the bottom, up]. If you want to read or participate in some heated discussion on the whole thing, head over to metafilter. This is quite the brouhaha.
Will Buffy have to kill her sister tonight?

Yes folks, yet another big season finale - Buffy the Vampire Slayer will air its season 5 finale tonight at 8:00 on the WB. Not only is it the season finale, but it is also the last new episode to air on the WB, before it moves to UPN. I do not know a single person (besides my sister) who watches this show - I sometimes feel as though it is only me and the television critics tuned in on Tuesday nights. If you get a chance to catch the show this summer, please do - and give it more than one episode - it's worth the effort!

For those of you who will be watching tonight - enjoy!

oh, poor you

If you haven't seen The Sopranos' finale, don't read any further!

I finally watched the season finale of HBO's The Sopranos last night. What a foreboding episode that was. Next season is most likely the last for them, and if this episode is any indication, we've got quite a bit to look forward to. Instead of trying to wrap up it all up myself, I'll direct you to Joyce Millman's column at Salon.com, where she says it all much more succinctly than I could. Last week brought us yet another Sopranos article at Salon, this one by Bill Wyman and entitled "Tony Sopranos' Female Trouble." I agree with some of what he says and take issue with other parts, but it's an interesting POV.




Hello, everyone. I had a fandamntastic weekend. Got to see friends I haven't seen in a while, eat a lot of good food (if I do say so myself ;), and the season finale of The X-Files was a whopper. I will be reviewing parts 1 and 2 together and I will post them as soon as they are done. In the meantime, you can read the Xcursion boys' review of part 1, Essence.

It's good to be back. Now I just have to get back into the swing of this thing.

5.17.2001

If you haven't seen The West Wing season finale yet, don't read any further!

One more quickie link... The West Wing season finale was, as I expected, fantastic. The only complaint I have is that I had been waiting all week to hear President Bartlet give those reporters an earful, and the damn thing ended right before he was to begin speaking! When Leo said to Toby, "Watch this...", I swear, my goose bumps had goose bumps.

My favorite scene from the finale: In a demonstration of the real power of this show, I was driven to tears as the President railed against God, alone in the cathedral after Mrs. Landingham's funeral; he wasn't yelling, and he was speaking line upon line of dialogue in Latin, yet I didn't need to hear him yell to feel the anger in his voice, nor did I need to hear the words in English in order to understand what he was saying to God. [if you're wondering what he did say, click here]Knowing that he is a Catholic and a religious person was enough to lend significance to the metaphoric act of extinguishing his cigarette on the cathedral floor. Jesus, I'm getting goose bumps again. Oh, it is going to be a LONG four months.

The X-Files will be returning to FOX for a ninth season. Good news? Bad news? I'm going to reserve judgment until I see the season finale (this weekend!) and learn more of the particulars. I read somewhere that Chris Carter may only act as a consultant, and that scares the crap outta me. Is he handing creative control over to FOX?? God, I hope not.

This Thing of Ours...

The TV season is winding down, and we have another season finale on Sunday. HBO's "The Sopranos" will be wrapping up its third season that night. I have no idea what will happen and I cannot wait to find out.

So today we pay tribute to The Sopranos. Enjoy!

On CNN's Larry King Live:

May 18 - "The stars of the award-winning "Sopranos" pay a visit to Larry in their first joint television interview. The 'administration' will be Edie Falco, Lorraine Bracco, Michael Imperioli, Tony Sirico, Joe Pantoliano and Robert Iler. Will they keep 'their code of silence' as they talk about fame, the family, and preview this Sunday's season finale? Find out -- they will be live and taking your calls "

Yo! What the heck did Sylvio just say? If you wonder like I do, go check out HBO's Made Guy Glossary.

Salon.com has a great interview with the actors who play Uncle Junior, Furio, Artie and Bacala. It's very funny, and nice to hear from some of less-scrutinized cast members. Uncle Junior's lust for Angie Dickinson just kills me.

I got this horoscope in the mail in the mail today, and it had me cracking up.

"You may be feeling like a snail who is emerging from her shell, Regina....Be careful of letting your defenses down too much, however, because a big hungry chicken is coming along who is looking for his dinner."

Chickens make me laugh. So sue me.

5.16.2001

Why? Because it's there. Breathtaking.

Well, Ladies and Germs, tonight is the big season finale of The West Wing, on NBC at 9:00 P.M. EST. The story of the President's failure to disclose his illness has been gripping, but the last 5 minutes of last week's episode knocked me on my ass. And it looks like we can expect more of the same tonight.

How about some quotes from the show in honor of this being Finale Day?

"When I think of all the work you put in to get me to run, when I think of all the work you did to get me elected... I could pummel your ass with a baseball bat." President Bartlet, Sea. 1, Ep. 13

"Today for the first time in history, the largest group of Americans living in poverty are children. One in five children live in the most abject, dangerous, hopeless, back-breaking, gut-wrenching poverty any of us could imagine. One in five, and they’re children. If fidelity to freedom of democracy is the code of our civic religion then surely the code of our humanity is faithful service to that unwritten commandment that says we shall give our children better than we ourselves received. Let me put it this way: I voted against the bill because I didn’t want to make it hard for people to buy milk. I stopped some money from flowing into your pocket. If that angers you, if you resent me, I completely respect that. But if you expect anything different from the President of the United States, you should vote for someone else" President Bartlet, Sea. 2, Ep. 1

"There are two things you never want to let people see how you make ’em: laws and sausages." Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, Sea. 1, Ep. 4

"Because I’m tired of it. Year, after year, after year, after year. Having to choose between the lesser of who cares. Of trying to get myself excited about a candidate who can speak in complete sentences. Of setting the bar so low I can hardly look at it. They say a good man can’t get elected. Well, I don’t believe that.” Chief of Staff Leo, Sea. 2, Ep. 1

"Obviously there’s one story that’s gonna be dominating the news around the world for the next few days. And it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman, and Stephanie Abbott were the only people who were victims of a gun crime last night. They weren’t. Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student. Tina bishop and Belinda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were twelve. There were 36 homicides last night. 480 sexual assaults. 3411 robberies. 3685 aggravated assaults. All at gun point. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I’d only remind you that the President of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained guards in the history of the world." Press Secretary C.J. Cregg

"You know, I’m so sick of Congress I could vomit." Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman

Enjoy the show!

In Science News...

A "washing machine" that separates important forensic evidence from soil is developed.

[speaking of washing machines, ours broke last night, right in the middle of a wash. Grr]

Live bacteria are cultured from a meteorite, but are they just little Earthlings?



5.15.2001

I know at least one of you is a Lord of the Rings fan. I read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit many, many moons ago, but never finished the entire LOTR trilogy. Despite that, I'm looking forward to theatrical release of LOTR, which was previewed to rave reviews at Cannes to this week. The specially selected audience was shown a 26 minute preview of the movie trilogy.

Cool beans!

Holy Crap, Batman!. Make sure you read to the end of the article to find out how much a doctor in Russia makes in a month. I wonder how many US doctors would still be doctors if that was all they made in a month.

Hmm, could this be...an X-File?

Filmwise.com has Invisibles #23 up.

5.14.2001

My essay on last Sunday's X-Files episode, Alone has finally been posted at ex post facto.

I'm going to try to get my thoughts down on "Essence" by Wednesday night, before I head up to Massachusetts on Thursday night for a weekend with fellow X-Files fans (and friends) and the big season (series?) finale on Sunday. Oooooo!

A British man shows off his putter at the Benson & Hedges International Open golf tournament.

When people ask me what I majored in long ago in college, I secretly dread their reaction. I know that as soon as I tell them that I have a B.A. in Mathematics, their eyes will glaze over and then widen a bit. They'll say, "Wow! You're kidding me. I was never any good at math." The subject will then be dropped faster than a hot potato. I will occasionally try to explain my view that a person who can "do" math is not any smarter than someone who can't, but that usually falls on deaf ears. This is the point at which I stop trying to explain since I'll only end up sounding like a condescending pompous ass.

So, I was more than pleased to read this little article. At least now I have some research to back me up ;).

I think we are back in business, folks. Unfortunately, I have to get some work done before I leave today. See ya in a couple of hours.

[I apologize for all of the "is this thing working" posts!]

Oh my gosh, I think blogger may be functional once again.


I was just here. Where did I go?

Ev says things should be working by later today. Oh please please please.

Please.

5.13.2001

This is verging on painful. My entries are posting in the Blogger interface, but now things aren't publishing here. I've finished my "Alone" review, but haven't posted it yet. Even if I had, you wouldn't know it was there because you probably still won't be able to see this post!

Patience, gina, patience...

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm on my way to spend the day with my mother. Nothing extravagant. We'll pick up something to eat on the way, and she wants to watch The X-Files Movie, so we'll all curl up and watch together. Have a good day, everyone!

[Blogger is still acting up, sorry. I'm not even sure this will post.]



5.12.2001

N e w s f l a s h !...Duran Duran will reunite. Am I too old to be excited by this?

Hell, I was probably too old the first time around. I was in college when they reached the peak of their success, and God I loved them. I suppose that's comparable to a college student of today hanging posters of the Backstreet Boys and 'NSync in their dorm rooms (yes, I had a huge poster of Duran Duran on my wall sophomore year, so nah nah nah nah on you). But I'd like to think that at least Duran Duran wrote their own songs and actually played their own instruments. And oh that Simon le Bon was a hottie. I say was because, well, like most of us, the years haven't been all that kind to him.

But, like all of those women "of a certain age" who go to those Sock Hop Reunion shows that tour the country and sit in the front row and swoon at pot-bellied Fabian or toupeed Frankie Avalon, I will be there at a new Duran Duran show, screaming for a now chubby Simon and singing my heart out.

Ta DA!

You may notice that some of yesterday's entries are not showing up until today. At least I hope they show up today! Blogger was a bit temperemental yesterday, due to the fact that Ev installed some new hardware and was tweaking the blogger user interface. I think maybe he tweaked it a little too hard.

Let's give things another try. I'll push the button on the count of three...1...2...3!

5.11.2001

I feel as though I'm always picking on Romanians, but what can I say? No one else seems to be setting their heads on fire.

I was just visiting a site dedicated to a reel-by-reel, practically shot-by-shot examination of Alfred Hitchcock's film North by Northwest (mentioned here earlier) and I came across this perfect description of Cary Grant:

"...he mixes the light-comic sophistication of an Alfred Lunt and the music hall clowning of a Charlie Chaplin with the glamour of a fashion model and the athleticism of a Hollywood action hero."
James Naremore (North by Northwest, Rutgers, 1993)


I guess I'll be on the lookout for Cary Grant movies this weekend.

An umbrella is all the well-dressed Londoner needs, apparently.

Okay, so how many of you think Robert Blake killed his wife?

I don't know what to think at this point. Like most people, I hope he had nothing to do with it. But the chances that some mysterious stalker or stranger walked up to that car right when Blake was conveniently out of sight are pretty damn slim. Then again, the couple seemed to have surrounded themselves with shady characters. A friend of Blake's claims that the reason he knows that Blake did not kill his wife is that he had offered to kill her himself and Blake had turned him down. Okaay. Blake and Bakley (how many of you keep saying Blakely instead of Bakley, like me?) were apparently pretty shady themselves.

This is one of those disillusioning moments for me, when the illusions of celebrity built during your childhood years come crashing down around you. I'm not devastated by this, not by any means, but I'm pretty bummed out. I really liked Blake, for some odd reason. He was fantastic in In Cold Blood (1967), playing one of two ex-cons who brutally murdered a family of four in Kansas. Of course, we watched "Baretta", every Wednesday night I think it was, because my mother had a thing for Blake.

I was watching Baretta when I swore for the very first time in front of my mother. I was twelve years old, I think. Anyone remember the opening credits for that show? It was a montage of action scenes, with someone (Sammy Davis, Jr.?) singing the theme song (Keep your eeeeyyyyeeee, on the sparrow!); there was a quick scene in which Baretta was dressed as an old woman, undercover (one would hope), and some 'punk' tries to snatch his purse. Ever the tough little guy, Baretta grabs the guy's arm, swings him around and knees him, well, you-know-where. Apparently in some sort of fugue state and completely unaware of where I was (lying on the floor in the living room, watching with my mother and sisters), I witness the above mentioned assault and yell out, "Aw MAN! Right in the BALLS!"

I don't think I even knew what they were at the time.

That was one episode of Baretta I did not see.

5.10.2001

Mike and George at Xcursions have posted their review of Alone. They express what I think most fans felt after watching this great episode.

There are so many jokes to be made here, I couldn't possibly pick just one.

Cute Animal Picture For Today.

Oh, dear. Methinks someone might have possibly turned to food for solace in the wake of his loss.

Good reading:

Here come da Judge! A judge orders four jackasses to shut off the TV, read some good books *and* write book reports on them. Right on, Judge Sheehan.

I remember reading about this dog attack and some of the odd aspects of the case shortly after the attack occurred, but I had no idea it was such a circus. You have to read the article - you just can't make this stuff up.

"There's something up there, Mulder."

Mr. Mulder, why are those like yourself,<br />who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on this earth, <br />not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?  Because, all the evidence to the contrary, is not entirely dissuasive.

"Oh, I've been saying that for years."


Was he right all along? Wouldn't that be a hoot.

5.09.2001

Oh, this poor little girl. I was bitten by 1 tick once, and I'm still skeeved at the memory.

V i r u s W a r n i n g

Users of Microsoft Outlook beware - there's a new e-mail worm on the loose. It's called "Homepage", and works like the Anna Kournikova worm that recently made its way around the world (and into my office). If you get an e-mail with the subject line "Homepage", the message "Hi! You've got to see this page. It's really cool ;o)" and an attachment named homepage.html.vbs, delete it. Do not open the attachment.

Looks like I'll have to go into the office a little early tomorrow to make sure all hell doesn't break loose!

Well, Whadya Know

Why do we call a test for authenticity or usefulness the
"acid test?"

The origins of this phrase were quite literal. More than a century ago, when much
of the population lived in rural areas, the itinerant peddler
was an important person. Not only did he sell all sorts of
manufactured goods otherwise unavailable, he also bought old
objects made of gold. For this purpose he needed an easy way
to estimate the gold content of, say, an old spoon. He did it
by nicking it slightly and pouring nitric acid on the
indentation. The color the liquid turned revealed the
percentage of gold present.

[source: Why You Say It by Webb Garrison]

When do bears emerge from hibernation?

Some trivia books still try to pose this as a trick question, stating that bears don't emerge because they never hibernated in the first place. The bear's body temperature doesn't fall as much as that of other hibernating animals, and this was once thought to disqualify them as true hibernators. But now we know that their higher body temperature is simply a function of their larger size.

Like other hibernators, bears don't sleep through the winter, but rather wake up periodically and eat what they've stored in their cave. They emerge for good when average temperatures are above freezing.

[source: The World Book Encyclopedia]


5.08.2001

From abcnews.com's Crime Blotter:

B A Y C I T Y, Mich. It would have taken a miracle for convicted robber Chad Gabriel DeKoven to win his lawsuit demanding he be recognized as "Messiah-God," released from prison, and given millions of tons of gold and silver.

Michigan District Court Judge David M. Lawson dismissed the convicted armed robber's suit, calling it "patently frivolous, implausible, unsubstantial and devoid of merit."

In his 200-page court filing, DeKoven also demanded a full pardon, public acknowledgement from Israel that he is King of Jews, peace in the Middle East, safe passage for Osama bin Laden, and the return to the United States of all American military personnel within 90 days.

Additionally, he asked for thousands of animals such as bison, fish and mollusks.

The judge, however, was unmoved by DeKoven "scientific" proof he was God.

"The plaintiff's overwrought attempts to judicially establish 'scientifically' through numerology, symbolic name analysis, and sheer repetitive assertion that he is the Messiah or Messiah-God are unconvincing and clearly baseless," Lawson wrote.

"The plaintiff has no constitutional right to be recognized and treated as the "Messiah-God" or any other holy, extra-worldly, or supernatural being or power," he concluded.


I wish you could see the smile on my face right now.

New Invisibles Quiz!

Red has updated GeekSpeak with Vienen reviews.

I could spend hours here: Last Words, a site that indexes and explains the famous last words (both real and supposed) of real and fictional people. I've only read one page, but I am enthralled already. Some are inspiring, while some are just plain funny. For example:

Hilton, Conrad N. (1887-1979)

"Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub."

Conrad Hilton was born in San Antonio, New Mexico, and began his career by renting out rooms in his adobe home. He took a job as a local bank cashier and was so successful that he soon purchased a bank of his own. He assumed control of a small hotel in Cisco, Texas, in 1919 and over the next sixty years built an international hospitality empire. On his deathbed just before he died, Hilton was asked if he had any last words of wisdom for the world.


The funnieset thing I've read in a long time. If you've ever read People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People in the world, you'll know what I mean.

I turn my back for a second and they go and end the strike. In order to protect themselves in the event of a writer's strike, Hollywood brass had been ordering up as much new programming as quickly as they possibly could. "This gives us the flexibility to start some shows earlier, make lots of episodes and have fewer repeats," one network executive told industry publication Daily Variety. "You'll also see a lot more shows in mid-season."

More doesn't always mean good, though, does it?

5.07.2001

I had a great weekend in New Jersey. I was visiting with my college roommate, who is married and has four kids now, all beautiful. As I was driving down the Garden State Parkway, I realized that we have known each for just under 19 years, half our lives. The occasion for the visit was her second eldest's First Holy Communion, but we managed to get in a few good moments together, even amidst all the domestic craziness. Heck, we even closed the bar we were at on Saturday night. Good to know some things don't change.

Sorry that I still haven't posted any new links. I have, however, posted my Vienen review on the ex post facto page. I don't have time for more than that right now - The Sopranos is on in 15 minutes!

I'm home! Unfortunately, I don't have the time to post anything new right now. I'll catch ya later on.

5.04.2001

I'm heading down to the Jersey shore this weekend, so I'm afraid there won't be any updates until Sunday, at the earliest. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

The Xcursion boys have their Vienen review posted. They take an interesting view of the episode and direction of the show.

5.03.2001

Darius and Wilson.

Hannah Banana

My niece Hannah, as photographed by her mother.

Felix the cat, the wonderful, wonderful cat... Too bad this Felix didn't have his own bag o' tricks.

5.02.2001

WASHINGTON, DC--The lowest common denominator (LCD), the leading cultural indicator for American mass-market tastes, continued its precipitous drop last week, fueling worries about the future of the U.S. marketplace for ideas and stoking fears of a long-term cultural recession...

If you're a pop culture snob like me, you're gonna love this.

Holy crap! It's hotter'n Dick's hatband out there! And after the winter we had this year, I am not complaining. Bring it on, I say!

Do you realize what this means? It means VH1 will actually have to show music videos during prime time. Will wonders never cease? Used to be, that was all that was on, 24 hours a day (at least in the early MTV days). If there was a video you wanted to see all you had to do was turn the channel on any time of the day - the chances were very good that you'd see your video within the hour. Now, it's a different story. I've been trying to catch a glimpse the FatBoy Slim video with Christopher Walken for 2 weeks now, and I'll be damned if I can find it. I refuse to get up at the crack of dawn in the hope of seeing it. I don't need to see it that badly ;).

Why do artists even bother making music videos anymore? I don't have the answer to that one, but I do know that I'll probably watch most of the VH1 special. Of the 100 videos listed, 53 are from the 80s, the music video golden age. Another opportunity for me to be show my age as I sing along with Cindi Lauper, Duran Duran and David Bowie (who I hope is on the list!). I may have to spike my hair, put on my ear cuff, flip up my collar, load up on the bangles and big earrings and put on my peter pan boots in observance. God, what was I thinking?

While I'm on the subject of television and the writers' strike, most TV analysts predict that reality shows like Survivor and Temptation Island, and game shows like Millionaire and Weakest Link, will probably benefit greatly as a result of the strike since they do not depend on writers and actors the way other television programs do. If you watch reality television (I do not), you may enjoy this CNN article.

The impending writers' and actors' strikes seem to have Hollywood in a tizzy, but should we care? We're about to begin the usual summer slate of re-runs, so what's the big deal? Here's an article that discusses how the strikes could affect us, the viewers, down the road.

Myself, I'm not really all that concerned. As much as I love it, I watch way too much television and anything that keeps me away from it has to be a good thing, right?

5.01.2001

Aaron Sorkin, stoner genius. I hope he doesn't blow it. So to speak.

Well, Whadya Know

The world's biggest pair of panties, made from acrylic and lace, measured 29.4 ft. (8.97 m.) x 14 ft. (4.26 m.)? They were strung across London's Oxford street as part of a promotion.

[source: GuinnessWorldRecords.com]


A promotion for what? Or is that one of those questions I don't really want to know the answer to...


Okay, maybe it's just me and my dorky sense of humor, but I thought this site was a riot. It's Alan Greenspan's Diary, and I know what you're thinking, but it's the silliest thing, honestly. Sample entry, re: tax day:

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

It's terrible. After all that, I walked over to the mailbox only to discover that I had forgotten to set my watch back an hour for daylight savings time! The post office was closed! I'm so pissed off I think I will vaguely imply a surprise interest rate hike in my next public statement. If I can't be happy, no one can. Bastards.


Come on! That's funny!

[thanks to blogger for the link]