8.29.2001

The resume is done! Now I have to find someone to send it to.

Thank God for small favors, I suppose.

Arrghh!!

I H A T E writing a resume. Time for a lunchbreak.

Never Steal An Action Hero's Truck

FARWELL, Texas — Jarrod Franse didn't run for help when he saw two men stealing his pickup truck; he jumped in.

The 23-year-old college student had just returned to his home after a round of golf when he saw two men next two his 1991 Dodge Durango. They jumped in and started the engine when he approached, but the Farwell resident wasn't ready to say farewell to his truck just yet.

"His reaction was just to jump in the back," said Parmer County Sheriff Randy Geries, who was quick to add that he didn't recommend the risky stunt.

The two thieves then raced off onto a local highway, reaching speeds of more than 100 mph, Geries said.

"They're swerving slamming on the breaks, trying to throw this guy out," Geries said. Franse held on and shouted to other drivers for help. Eventually he broke the window into the passenger cab and started wrestling with the men.

After almost an hour, the thieves had enough, Geries said. They pulled over and ran off on foot, abandoning Franse and his truck. After he drove to a nearby farmhouse to call for help, police arrived and hunted for the hapless car thieves in the thick rows of corn.

"It belonged to this young man and he wasn't about to let it go," Geries remarked. With the help of a K-9 unit, they apprehended Joe Angel Roldan, 18, but the other suspect — a juvenile — managed to hide in the field overnight. He turned himself in the following morning, covered with more than 300 mosquito bites, police said.

They were charged with aggravated kidnapping and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.

[source abcnews.com crimeblotter]

Some clarification on the Seattle jumper story

Jill, a friend of mine who lives and works in Seattle, was kind enough to send along a clarification of the Yahoo story:

Now, the Yahoo! story isn't quite right--the jumper didn't jump because commuters were yelling at her to do so simply because there weren't any cars going by her at the time. Starting at about 7:00 this morning, she had been sitting on the bridge railing on the Southbound side of I-5. So they closed the southbound lanes as police tried to talk her down. But northbound lanes slowed to take a look at it was northbound commuters that were yelling at her to jump. So they closed the Northbound lanes, too. At the time she jumped, there were no cars on I-5. But still, as I said before, it's disgusting.
I agree. You can read the local news story here.

The phrase, "You hit the nail on the head" comes to mind...

8.28.2001

Frustrated Seattle commuters remove the cause of a traffic jam.

view of Dyer Bay sunset on Dyer Bay

I've started to take down and put away those things that identify this office as mine. As I was cleaning off the corkboard, I found these two images. The one on the left was taken from the front porch of our cabin in Maine. The other was taken from the same shore, just a little further out towards the point, at sunset, while walking back for dinner.

IE 6.0 is out. Make sure you read the fine print.

Men, Avert Your Eyes

Sweet Jesus.

What a Loser

So, here I am, all set with my vacation plans, got the time off, etc., and can you believe I can't find a single soul to go away with me?? Oh, how sad!

Well, consider this an open call for a vacation companion - anyone interested in spending a week in a cabin way up on the coast of Maine from 9/15 through 9/22? ;)

According to Humans For Sale, I am worth about $1,423,040.00. I don't make it into the 50 most expensive females, and I am actually below the average cost of a female, but I was thinking...I will be without a job in about a month, and $1.4 million is an awful lot of money...

[link courtesy confessionalism]

Ooo, I love this song...

...that's when Billy Joe McAllister jumped o-o-ff the Tallahachee Bri-i-dge...

8.27.2001

Remember that curse I told you about? The one where those Greek monks put the whammy on an entire village, dooming them all to a century of sleepless nights? Well, looks like the monks have finally relented.

"Presenting his findings here Sunday at the annual meeting of the American Chemical Society, Antonucci explained that, in lab studies using enamel from cow's teeth, ACP effectively reversed the erosive process that causes cavities. The compound does this by releasing calcium and phosphate ions that ``in the right proportions, can form the natural mineral that is found in teeth and bones,'' Antonucci explained."

Do Over!!

I just checked the answers to last week's Invisibles and I see that my score was actually 7 out of 8, not 6 out of 8. I typed in "Something About Mary" instead of "There's Something About Mary." Picky picky ;).

Head over and check out Invisibles #38 before the boys get too big for their britches - it seems Entertainment Weekly will be featuring them in their upcoming double-issue. Keep your eye peeled.

8.26.2001

8.24.2001

And what be your name, swabbo?

I know you've all been dying to know what your pirate name is; this Pirate Name Generator will finally put your mind at ease.

Captain Anne Bonney, signing off. Arrrr!

[link courtesy usr/bin/girl]

"He'd been calling himself Michael Scott for a while, but since that name was already taken on the British actors' trade union's list he had to come up with a new name. And quick too, he was standing in a phone booth in Leicester Square with his agent waiting on the line! Years later, in an interview by Barry Norman, he recalled the moment: "I just looked through the trees, at the Odeon Leicester Square [Cinema], it just said Caine Mutiny. So, I just said Caine. If I'd gone to the Leicester Square Theatre, I'd have been called Michael A Hundred and One Dalmatians!"

Excellent fan site.

A supermarket chain is considering renaming one of the nation's favourite puddings to save men from blushing when they buy it.

They've just thought of this now?

Connecticore

If you had asked me yesterday if Connecticut had a music scene, I would have replied, "If you consider the Jazz Festival in snooty Litchfield a music scene, then yes, I suppose we do." Imagine my surprise, then, when I read this New York Times article. Could good old Meriden, until now known mostly for its mall, actually give Seattle or Minneapolis a run for their respective money? I doubt it, but kinda cool just the same.

Headline of the day:

"Smiley the Clown Found Guilty of Sodomy."

Site Changes

Sorry for all of the recent changes, but I haven't really been all that happy with the design of this page lately. I think I've got it where I want it (practically back the way it used to be). Now I just have to work on content!

my nephew, Zachary

I just love this picture.

8.23.2001

Six Feet Under

Six Feet Under
image courtesy hbo.com

I'm hooked on another show - HBO's Six Feet Under. I missed portions of the earlier episodes, but once the series hit its mid-season (around episode 6), I was hooked. I especially love the way the characters' true selves have been slowly revealed to us over 13 episodes, as opposed to shoved down our throats immediately. I am so glad I gave this show a chance. As messed up as the Fischers, et al are, I have so much invested in them now that any failure they may experience will be devastating to me, as a viewer. Moriarty, from Ain't It Cool News, has written a full-season review. I disagree with him on some points, but overall I think he expresses himself very well, and he is of an opinion similar to mine.

[if you haven't watched any of the shows and don't want to know anything about them, then I would skip the review]

Terry Do? More like Terry, Don't!!

The way life should be.

Since I'm staying at my job until Sept 30, I still have 5 vacation days coming to me (a week). I could be a responsible adult and save them and receive the pay upon my departure, but I won't. I'm going to take the week and head up to our cabin on the coast of Maine. I will surely need to get away, and I don't expect to get any more paid vacation time until at least a year from now. So why not take advantage of it while I can, right? Besides, I need a pleasant diversion in the midst of all this uncertainty.



More than you ever wanted to know about Maine:

Capital: Augusta
Population: Approximately 1.2 million
Gemstone: Tourmaline
Fossil: Pertica quadrifaria
Cat: Maine Coon Cat
Insect: Honeybee
Animal: Moose
Flag: The coat of arms of the State of Maine is placed on a blue field of the same shade of blue in the flag of the United States. Adopted by the Legislature of 1909.
Motto: Dirigo (I lead)
Tree: White Pine, adopted by the Legislature of 1945.
Floral Emblem: White pine cone and tassel (Pinus strobus, linnaeus). Adopted by the Legislature of 1895.
Bird: Chickadee (Parus atricapillus) Adopted by the Legislature of 1927.
Fish: Landlocked Salmon

What a catch, huh?

When pigs fly, you say?

8.22.2001

Now why didn't Mulder think of this...

Larry Bryant, 62, filed the suit in state court here on June 5, the day before the anniversary of the Allies' D-Day invasion during World War II. Bryant filed on behalf of all people of the planet Earth and also Citizens Against UFO Secrecy (CAUS), a sky-watching group based in Scottsdale, Ariz.

I'm playing with CSS now (cascading style sheets), so bear with me if things go wonky on you.

Considering my immediate need for comic relief, I thought it would be fitting to re-visit The Secret Diary of Alan Greenspan. Some of you may remember me mentioning this site previously - if not, get thee over there!

And while you're at it, take a look at another Nabobs offering - Martha Stewart's Erotic Journal. 'Nuff said.

[the above contains adult material - you've been warned so don't blame me if you become a wanton hussy]

Run, piggies, run!

Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...

Your eyes are not playing tricks on you - I'm playing with the layout and design.

It's funny sometimes how life will sneak up on you, tap you on the shoulder politely and knock you on your unsuspecting ass before you even get a chance to see what's coming.

Actually, I suppose on some level I did see this coming. Denial is a strong suit of mine. I was informed yesterday morning, upon return from my vacation, that due to re-organization of the Firm, my position will be eliminated effective October 1, 2001. Simple as that.

Anyone need a 37-year-old who wants to work in computers, but who knows a little bit about a lot of things but not a lot about any one thing? Time to go back to school, methinks. God, this sucks. But it's also an opportunity, right? An opportunity to finally get out there and do something different, exciting...scary.

Another funny thing about life...without your knowledge it lays down safety nets for you, giving seemingly innocuous events a greater meaning, or altering the significance of others. My mother moved in with me a couple of weeks ago; when I first heard the news yesterday, this was a burden. This could not have happened at a worse time, now that we're supporting her as well as ourselves. But then this morning, as she kissed and hugged me goodbye, told me she loved me and that everything was going to be okay, I couldn't imagine what I would do if she wasn't there to prop me up.

Onward and upward, as they say.

"Invented by religion, enforced by the state, and cashed in on by the psychiatric community, guilt is what keeps society from completely unraveling. Yet our culture is rife with politically correct apologists telling us to let go of the shame that binds us, and to treat our mistakes as learning experiences that we have to "heal" from and "put behind us" as quickly as we can. Well, that's just bullshit. If you do something wrong, you should feel guilty about it. Guilt is the pruning shears that society developed to prevent you from growing into an even bigger asshole than you already are. Sorry, I feel bad that I said that."

Publishing problem fixed. My FTP server has a new IP address, apparently. News to me.

"If it feels good, do it: a rallying cry of the '60s and the root of a lot of really awful parenting. Jackson may have been admirably comfortable with his body, but like many children of hippie parents, he was in the dark about some very basic social rules, such as the one that says don't jack off in public. "

Testing, 1, 2, 3....

8.21.2001

Blogger is poop.

Hehe, good one.

link courtesy brainsluice

I seem to be having some publishing trouble.

Man, what a day this has been. More on that later.

8.20.2001

Well, Whadya Know

Just how does a Venus flytrap eat dinner?

A native of the Carolinas, the Venus flytrap grows in soil that lacks the nitrogen it needs. Enter the nitrogen-rich fly. And enter he does at the top of the foot-high plant where there are leaves that resemble two hinged lobes, usually open in a mouth-like array. On their surface are sensitive hairs. The fly lands on a hair, triggering the leaves to close, holding him prisoner. The plant digests the fly with fluids it secretes through the leaves.
[source: The World Book Encyclopedia]

Why does the shower curtain get sucked in toward you when you shower?

Until recently, we didn't understand the process, but now we do. David Schmidt, professor of mechanical engineering at the University of Massachusetts, took a $28,000 computer software model of spraying liquids and applied it to his mother-in-law's bathtub. Two weeks and 1.5 million calculations later, he discovered that: The water from the shower spray slowed down as it fell, the result of hitting the air. This process caused the air to become turbulent, actually forming a miniature storm system with low pressure at its center. The air pressure outside the shower, now higher than inside it, pushed the curtain in.
[source: The New York Times ]

Why do angels have halos?

Becoming an angel would be quite a feather in anyone's cap, wouldn't it? Well, that's something like what the artists who originally depicted angels had in mind. Many of the customs and much of the iconography of our great religions were adapted from paganism. In the case of angelic halos, the source was sun worship. People who worshipped the sun emulated its rays by wearing rings of feathers on their heads. That would be too tacky for angels, so they were painted with actual rays of light.
[source: Ever Wonder Why? By Douglas B. Smith]

Makeup Quiz

While I was away, Filmwise posted two more Invisibles Quizzes...

[you can find the answers to quiz #35 here]

Invisibles #36 - I Wanna Be A Cowboy is a goodie, and since we're a week late, you get instant gratification when you submit your answers - the solutions will appear on the same page as your score.

Invisibles #37 is this week's quiz, and once again I scored 6 out of 8. Good Luck!

Back Home

I'm home! Vancouver was wonderful, as usual, and I'll be back soon with all the news that's fit to print, and hopefully I'll be able to post some pictures by the end of the week. I hope everyone had a good week!

8.09.2001

"Paul says he plans to chop off his lower legs himself - with a DIY guillotine - live on the internet as a pay-per-view event. "

Overheard in Auckland, New Zealand... "Am I the only one who hears that constant buzzing noise?"

Invisibles!

Better late than never, right? You can find the top scores and answers to last week's quiz here. And Invisibles #35 is waiting for you...

Oh, what the hell...

How about a song?

Reporter
Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news
that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket. There
seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. I's standin' overe there by the tomaters, and here he
come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables,
nekkid as a jay bird. And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't
look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed.

Chorus
Here he comes, look at that, look at that
There he goes, look at that, look at that
And he ain't wearin' no clothes

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
Fastest thing on two feet
Look at that, look at that
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He goin' give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
He likes to show off his physique
Look at that, look at that
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique

Reporter
This is your action news reporter once again, and we're here at the gas
station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my car checked, he just appeared
out of the traffic. Come streakin' around the grease rack there, didn't
have nothin' on but a smile. I looked in there, and Ethel was gettin'
her a cold drink. I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too
late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of
the shock absorbers.

Chorus
He ain't crude, look at that, look at that
He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that
He's just in the mood to run in the nude

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
He likes to turn the other cheek
Look at that, look at that
He's always makin' the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique

Reporter
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering
the disturbance at the basketball playoff. Pardon me, sir, did you see
what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just goin' down thar to get Ethel a snow
cone. And here he come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right
down the middle of the court. Didn't have on nothing but his head.
Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions. And I hollered up
at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd
already got a free shot. Grandstandin', right there in front of the
home team.

Chorus Witness
Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Here he comes again.
Look at that, look at that Who's that with him?
The fastest thing on two feet Ethel? Is that you, Ethel?
Look at that, look at that What do you think you're
He's just as proud as he can be doin'? You git your
Of his anatomy clothes on!
He's gonna give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Ethel! Where you goin'?
Look at that, look at that Ethel, you shameless
He likes to show off his physique hussy! Say it isn't so,
Look at that, look at that Ethel! Ethelllllll!!!
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique


~ Ray Stevens, "The Streak"


Yeah, ah did.

"Presti was arrested early Wednesday after he was spotted, nude, filling up his sport utility vehicle at a service station on Route 7. "He thought it was a good thing to do, considering the weather," Sgt. Mark Blanchette said. "

8.08.2001

Hooligans-in-Training.

New Do

I got my hair done this afternoon, and I must say, I like it! I sort of look like Rob Thomas now, which probably isn't so good since I'm a girl, but what the hell.

Miller Rant

Dennis Miller lets loose on Sex and Washington, D.C.:

"Now, I don't believe there's any danger of a sex scandal with our current administration. President Bush not only appears to be deeply in love with his wife, he thinks "fetish" is something you crumble on top of a Greek salad."

Sign outside the bank next door: 113 degrees

Now, I know that can't be right since if it was, people would be flopping around on the sidewalks like sizzling strips of bacon, but still...

Hot enough for ya??

Good L O R D! For once in my life I am rushing to get to work in the morning and taking my time leaving at the end of the day. I find myself looking for places to stop on the way home so I can sit as long as possible in air-conditioned bliss in my truck. The heat is so oppressive in my apartment in the early evening that anyone who happened to stop by would think that they had arrived at the scene of a Jonestown-like suicide pact, what with all the bodies (animal and human) strewn about the place. Things cooled off a tiny bit by the time I went to bed, where I was actually able to lay a sheet on top of me, feet exposed, of course.

I'm getting my hair done this afternoon - cut and 'chunky' highlights. I need to try to keep some perspective, though, and not let this heat lead me to something drastic, like chopping all my hair off. Wish me luck!

T-shirt spotted this morning:

It's not a beer belly --
it's the fuel tank for a love machine.

8.07.2001

They say timing is everything...

Episode II gets a title -- Attack of the Clones. Without the creepy relevance to current events, that has to be one of the worst titles I have ever seen. Ho hum.

8.06.2001

Whoa!! Eddie who??

Clone Wars

This is not the place, and I'm certainly not person, for a thoughful debate on the ethics of cloning. But I thought I'd make note of today's announcement by a "team of reproductive specialists" that they are about to begin human cloning of 200 test subjects. The sci-fi geek in me is intrigued by the concept, its applications and its ramifications. But I also believe in God, in the human soul, and that there are just some things that we are not meant to do. This scares the crap out of me.

Just because we can, it does not necessarily follow that we should.

Are you a 'Sex and the City' Fan?

I am, and I'm a bit peeved right now. I usually watch the encore showing of Sunday's episode on Wednesday so I didn't see it last night. Apparently there was quite the plot development and I was just thoroughly spoiled by this article's front page headline. Damn.

"Park railings are there for a reason," said Ranger Jeff Kracht, the park's search and rescue coordinator. "Is it worth risking your life and the lives of rescue personnel for a $10 baseball cap?"

I'd be pissed, too.


I'm still alive...kinda.

What a whirlwind the past week has been. I have to apologize for my disappearance. 5 days! Oops.

My mother finally moved in with us this weekend. I feel like I've been preparing for this all summer long. I guess I have. I took last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off of work and did some preliminary packing/cleaning at her apartment, as well as lining up a storage unit and U-Haul truck. I didn't think my body could take the punishment I gave it this weekend - not only were we moving her out of a second story apartment, it was also about 95 degrees out, with off-the-scale humidity. However, despite a couple of broken fingernails, a nearly broken toe, various bruises and a body so achy that I'm walking like I've got a stick up my a**, I'm doing pretty good today.

Now it's time to look forward to next week's trip to Vancouver. If ever there was a time I needed to get away, this it it!