Two men in New Jersey have been convicted of disorderly conduct for spraying a noxious gas in a supermarket, forcing the evacuation of the store. Check out how old those two are! Despite their respective ages, they are neophytes; my father could clear the store under his own steam, so to speak, and very nearly has on a few occasions.
[thanks, fark]
3.20.2002
Thar it blows!
This just feels so wrong to me. "Ultimately they are commodities...not things that have characters." What a sentimental old fool he is.
This just feels so wrong to me. "Ultimately they are commodities...not things that have characters." What a sentimental old fool he is.
3.19.2002
"Confessions of a former celibate." The Catholic Church needs to stop thinking in centuries and needs to abolish the vow of celibacy. I think the firestorm of sexual abuse allegations ripping through the Church right now is directly related to the celibacy requirement. It would not come as a surprise to me to find out that many of these priest-abusers sought refuge in the priesthood, hoping the vow of celibacy would help them control their desires. Allowing priests to marry would open up the field to millions of good men who are currently unwilling to foresake the blessings of a wife and children in service to the Church. Of course, if women could be priests...
3.18.2002
You are where you live. The closest fit for me is the Microvision segment "On Their Own", although the Media and Geography sections are way off-base.
[thanks, fark]
[thanks, fark]
"Liza's Wedding from Bizarro Land." What a freak show that must have been. Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that reception!
"The nominations for Best Picture in the Academy Awards for 1982 were as follows: "Gandhi," "Tootsie," "Missing," "The Verdict," and "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial." The award went to Richard Attenborough's "Gandhi," a film that, like "A Bridge Too Far" and other large-scale Attenborough projects, appeared to last twice as long as the historical events it described. "
Or, as one of my professors at the time put it, "They gave it to a guy who walked around in his underwear for 3 hours." This New Yorker review of "E.T." is more dissertation than review, but it's a must-read for lovers of the 1982 movie, which is being re-released into theaters this Friday, as part of its 20th anniversary.
3.17.2002
Badump Bump!
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he can buy him a drink. "Why, of course!" comes the reply The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say! I'm from Ireland, too. Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course!" replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin, too! Lets have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in `62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man cries. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in `62 also!"
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing
it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
Sister Mary Margaret enters O 'Flynn's off license. "I'd like to buy a bottle of Irish whiskey", she tells O 'Flynn.
The owner of the store shakes his head and frowns. "A bottle of Irish whiskey? And you being a nun too."
"Oh no, no," Sister Mary Margaret exclaims. "It's for Father Reilly. His constipation, you know."
O'Flynn smiles, nods, and puts a bottle into a bag. Sister Mary Margaret pays, takes the bag and goes on her way.
Later that day, O'Flynn closes shop for the day. On his way home he passes an alley. There in the alley is Sister Mary Margaret. She's rip roaring drunk, the empty bottle at her side.
"Sister!" O'Flynn scolds. "And you said it was for Father Reilly's constipation."
"It is," answers Sister Mary Margaret. "When he sees me, he's gonna shit!"
An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he can buy him a drink. "Why, of course!" comes the reply The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say! I'm from Ireland, too. Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course!" replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin, too! Lets have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in `62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man cries. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in `62 also!"
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing
it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
Sister Mary Margaret enters O 'Flynn's off license. "I'd like to buy a bottle of Irish whiskey", she tells O 'Flynn.
The owner of the store shakes his head and frowns. "A bottle of Irish whiskey? And you being a nun too."
"Oh no, no," Sister Mary Margaret exclaims. "It's for Father Reilly. His constipation, you know."
O'Flynn smiles, nods, and puts a bottle into a bag. Sister Mary Margaret pays, takes the bag and goes on her way.
Later that day, O'Flynn closes shop for the day. On his way home he passes an alley. There in the alley is Sister Mary Margaret. She's rip roaring drunk, the empty bottle at her side.
"Sister!" O'Flynn scolds. "And you said it was for Father Reilly's constipation."
"It is," answers Sister Mary Margaret. "When he sees me, he's gonna shit!"
An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
3.16.2002
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more,
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more.
Music and lyrics to Irish traditional, drinking and folk songs. You don't want to be the only one not singing along the next time you visit the pub, now do ya?
No nay never no more,
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more.
Music and lyrics to Irish traditional, drinking and folk songs. You don't want to be the only one not singing along the next time you visit the pub, now do ya?
3.15.2002
"Former failed figure skater Tonya Harding combined minimal movement with perspicacious punching to score a third-round TKO over past political pawn Paula Jones Wednesday in a bout that signaled either a promising beginning for Fox Television's fledgling People You Never Wanted to See Again Doing Things You Never Wanted to See Them Do division or the end of civilization as we know it. Possibly both. "
I may be too much of a snob to watch it on television, but I'm not above reading what another snob thinks of it. ;)
I may be too much of a snob to watch it on television, but I'm not above reading what another snob thinks of it. ;)
3.14.2002
XP speaks back. Imagine being at work and typing a doument for your boss while you're complaining to a co-worker about him/her. Hehe.
An elderly German woman dies of hypothermia after being mistakenly declared dead and put into cold storage. The doctor said he could tell by the color of her skin that she was dead. Whatever happened to checking for a pulse?
3.13.2002
Best in Show Eaten by Second-Best
MUNTO, COMMENOR -- Horror turned to controversy at the Annual Mid-Rim Domesticated Sub-Sentient Show. When prize Sullustan wilwog Itipiniwi was awarded first prize, her owner became hysterical. Following her master's lead, Itipiniwi began to yip loudly, arousing the sensitive ears of the runner-up Boshuda, a Kashyyyk bolstyngar. To put an end to the noise, the bolystyngar snatched up the much smaller animal and swallowed it. Because the consumption of an opponent is not yet addressed by the pageant guidelines, Boshuda was named Best in Show due to forfeit. "I only feed him the best," commented Boshuda's owner.
Clever marketing tool for Episode II. And funny, too.
MUNTO, COMMENOR -- Horror turned to controversy at the Annual Mid-Rim Domesticated Sub-Sentient Show. When prize Sullustan wilwog Itipiniwi was awarded first prize, her owner became hysterical. Following her master's lead, Itipiniwi began to yip loudly, arousing the sensitive ears of the runner-up Boshuda, a Kashyyyk bolstyngar. To put an end to the noise, the bolystyngar snatched up the much smaller animal and swallowed it. Because the consumption of an opponent is not yet addressed by the pageant guidelines, Boshuda was named Best in Show due to forfeit. "I only feed him the best," commented Boshuda's owner.
Clever marketing tool for Episode II. And funny, too.
3.12.2002
The devil may be able to find work for idle hands, but he's been ignoring my idle mind.
I went to the bank today to deposit my umpteenth unemployment check, and it was there that I realized, in a brief yet terrifying moment, how detached I have become from the civilized world. There was no line, so I proceeded directly to the teller window and began filling out my deposit slip. I was writing in the date, March 12,...March 12th,...March 12, what?? Oh my God, what year is it?? Is it 2001? Or 2002? I panicked, staring at the deposit slip, wondering what type of reaction I would be risking if I said to the teller, "Um, excuse me...I've been out of work for almost 5 months now and my brain has severely atrophied from lack of use and I'm finding it hard to remember even the most insignificant of details, and, well..could you tell me what year this is?" No, that wouldn't do. Barely a few seconds had passed, but someone was sure to notice the way I was staring slack-jawed at the deposit slip. I made a guess. Thankfully, it was the right one.
I went to the bank today to deposit my umpteenth unemployment check, and it was there that I realized, in a brief yet terrifying moment, how detached I have become from the civilized world. There was no line, so I proceeded directly to the teller window and began filling out my deposit slip. I was writing in the date, March 12,...March 12th,...March 12, what?? Oh my God, what year is it?? Is it 2001? Or 2002? I panicked, staring at the deposit slip, wondering what type of reaction I would be risking if I said to the teller, "Um, excuse me...I've been out of work for almost 5 months now and my brain has severely atrophied from lack of use and I'm finding it hard to remember even the most insignificant of details, and, well..could you tell me what year this is?" No, that wouldn't do. Barely a few seconds had passed, but someone was sure to notice the way I was staring slack-jawed at the deposit slip. I made a guess. Thankfully, it was the right one.
Have you ever had a song, one that you haven't heard in a very long time, stir up a long forgotten memory, one that you wish would have remained forgotten? Picture this: a tall, slightly chubby, immensely awkward 13-year-old girl doing a gymnastics floor mat routine as part of her Phys Ed final, which is choreographed (a term I use loosely) to the song "I Go Crazy", by Paul Davis. And people wonder why I would never want to repeat my teenage years.
"TV Barn has been furnished with David Letterman's remarks, made on the "Late Show" telecast taped this afternoon in New York."
In case you didn't catch Letterman (which I didn't), you can see what Dave had to say at TVBarn.
(posted Monday, March 11, "What Dave Said")
In case you didn't catch Letterman (which I didn't), you can see what Dave had to say at TVBarn.
(posted Monday, March 11, "What Dave Said")
3.11.2002
A Tribute in Light. Looking at those two beams of light, one can imagine them as the trails of the souls of those who died that day, ascending into the heavens.
3.10.2002
Huskies take two overtimes to win Big East tournament.
I pay only fleeting attention to college basketball most times, so when I read that headline this morning, I had assumed it was the women's Huskies who won the Big East title. The ladies are undefeated in both their conference and overall, so imagine my surprise when I found out that it was the 19th ranked men's team! Congratulations, boys!
I pay only fleeting attention to college basketball most times, so when I read that headline this morning, I had assumed it was the women's Huskies who won the Big East title. The ladies are undefeated in both their conference and overall, so imagine my surprise when I found out that it was the 19th ranked men's team! Congratulations, boys!
3.09.2002
Filmwise Timewasters
Here's this week's Invisibles quiz, #65, here are the answers to last quiz. While you're there, check out their latest Visuals quiz, The Eyes Have It.
Here's this week's Invisibles quiz, #65, here are the answers to last quiz. While you're there, check out their latest Visuals quiz, The Eyes Have It.
3.08.2002
My brain is pudding today, so I shall have to resort to a quiz. I like this one, though:
On the nosey!
[thanks, snarkcake!]
 You are most like Zillah who drank too much gin! Created by Thren.Which Gashlycrumb Tiny are you? |
On the nosey!
[thanks, snarkcake!]
3.07.2002
How the hell can someone do this to another human being? To be so callous, so cruel? I cannot comprehend that level of indifference.
"Is it cruel and unusual punishment to deprive an American of his right to watch television?"
It would certainly teach me a lesson.
It would certainly teach me a lesson.
3.06.2002
As Scully said, "The answers are there. You just have to know where to look for them." From The Atlanta Journal:
The city's most famous knight has an equally famous new wife -- at least in his new video. Actress Elizabeth Taylor plays Elton John's significant other in the upcoming video for "Original Sin," the third single from the singer's critically acclaimed album, "Songs From the West Coast."All is right with the world. Sorta.
3.05.2002
I'm not really sure what this quiz, Who's your odd British actor, is purporting to say; am I like Tim Roth? Or do I want to shag him?
All, essentially, in the name of God:
In rapid succession Tuesday, a Palestinian man opened fire on a crowded Tel Aviv nightclub, a suicide bomber blew himself up on an Israeli bus, gunmen ambushed Israeli motorists in the West Bank and a mysterious blast went off in the Gaza Strip. [Yahoo]
Hundreds of U.S. troops and waves of B-52 bombers pounded snowcapped mountains Monday and early this morning in Afghanistan, where a recently built-up force of al-Qaeda and Taliban fighters were mounting a furious defense near the Pakistan border. [USA Today]
More than 570 people, mainly Muslims, died in six days of violence in Gujarat state that erupted when a Muslim mob burned 58 Hindu pilgrims alive in an attack on a train last Wednesday. [Yahoo]
NYTimes op-ed by Ted Koppel, defending the relevance of ABC's "Nightline" in the wake of recent negotiations between the network and CBS's Letterman. It is a very sad day in American culture when someone like Koppel has to defend, to his own network, the relevance of a hard-hitting, journalistically superior news program in what is essentially war time.
3.04.2002
"All video games, or at least the ones I have seen, tend to ... involve some combat of some sort," Pierce says. "And Ethnic Cleansing is like that, too, but it is different, in that it tries to raise the racial consciousness of the player."
However abhorrent the existence of these games is, the implication that open source programming shares responsibility for their existence is just plain irresponsible; next they'll be accusing the printing press of enabling these hate groups in the distribution of their message. The tools are available to all of us. If we don't use them to further a better agenda, then that's our own fault.
However abhorrent the existence of these games is, the implication that open source programming shares responsibility for their existence is just plain irresponsible; next they'll be accusing the printing press of enabling these hate groups in the distribution of their message. The tools are available to all of us. If we don't use them to further a better agenda, then that's our own fault.
3.03.2002
Tonight on TV
Two of my favorite television shows are returning with new episodes tonight and they are on at the same freakin' time. The X-Files returns from a long hiatus with "Provenance", the first of a two-parter, tonight at 9:00 P.M. I'm excited about the episode if only because we're getting some actual continuity with the return of the Biogenesis-ship. Woohoo!
Season 2 of Six Feet Under premieres on HBO tonight, also at 9:00. Thankfully, HBO and HBOPlus rerun the episodes ad nauseum during the week, so I'll have plenty of opportunity to catch it in the next couple of days. If you end up watching either of these shows, enjoy!
Two of my favorite television shows are returning with new episodes tonight and they are on at the same freakin' time. The X-Files returns from a long hiatus with "Provenance", the first of a two-parter, tonight at 9:00 P.M. I'm excited about the episode if only because we're getting some actual continuity with the return of the Biogenesis-ship. Woohoo!
Season 2 of Six Feet Under premieres on HBO tonight, also at 9:00. Thankfully, HBO and HBOPlus rerun the episodes ad nauseum during the week, so I'll have plenty of opportunity to catch it in the next couple of days. If you end up watching either of these shows, enjoy!
3.02.2002
2.28.2002
2.27.2002
This is just tragic. No one is to blame, really, and I feel for those parents; how do you sit and watch your child grow, enduring agonizing years waiting to see if they have inherited a degenerative brain disorder? Hopefully the number who do inherit the disease will be lower than 50 percent.
2.26.2002
I hope those hats were worth it. Lesson learned from this article: Never rebuff an autograph seeker.
2.25.2002
A wonderful behind-the-scenes look at the Salt Lake Olympic Winter Games by someone who worked security at the speed skating venue. Start at the January 30 post and read up to follow him as he travels to Utah, deals with polite Chinese politicians and parties with the crazy Dutch. Great site.
2.24.2002
Speaking of Silliness.
I watched Primetime Glick on Comedy Central last night. If you have never watched Martin Short as Jiminy Glick, there is no way I can convey to you just how funny he is as the rotund, self-absorbed and suspiciously effeminate Glick as he interviews (and embarrasses) celebrities. Comedy Central will air last night's episode, featuring a riotous Tom Hanks and somewhat dumbfounded Ben Stiller, again early Tuesday morning, 2/26, at 1:30 and Saturday morning, 3/2, at 8:30 AM. And X-Files fans, you can watch David Duchovny get Glicked in the new episode airing Saturday, 3/2, at 10:00 PM.
I watched Primetime Glick on Comedy Central last night. If you have never watched Martin Short as Jiminy Glick, there is no way I can convey to you just how funny he is as the rotund, self-absorbed and suspiciously effeminate Glick as he interviews (and embarrasses) celebrities. Comedy Central will air last night's episode, featuring a riotous Tom Hanks and somewhat dumbfounded Ben Stiller, again early Tuesday morning, 2/26, at 1:30 and Saturday morning, 3/2, at 8:30 AM. And X-Files fans, you can watch David Duchovny get Glicked in the new episode airing Saturday, 3/2, at 10:00 PM.
2.23.2002
More sad news: Chuck Jones has died. The news is sad in the way that Charles Schulz's passing was sad: he lived a long, full life, during which he shared his art, his humor and provided this writer with countless hours of Saturday morning silliness. And so we are sad to see him go. And lucky to be able to enjoy his wacky legacy for many years to come.
2.22.2002
2.21.2002
IFOCE
OK, I am thoroughly disgusted, repulsed and flabbergasted. Ever hear of the International Federation of Competitive Eating? Well, neither did I, until I read today that FOX would be airing a piece of crap called the "Glutton Bowl", (I refuse to tell you when it will air, on the grounds that that would help to promote such garbage) during which individuals compete to see who can stuff the most crap into their faces. One of the objectives of the IFOCE, as set out in their organization's mandate, is "to promote interchange of information on training for the sport." Training for the sport?? My God. We are a lost cause.
OK, I am thoroughly disgusted, repulsed and flabbergasted. Ever hear of the International Federation of Competitive Eating? Well, neither did I, until I read today that FOX would be airing a piece of crap called the "Glutton Bowl", (I refuse to tell you when it will air, on the grounds that that would help to promote such garbage) during which individuals compete to see who can stuff the most crap into their faces. One of the objectives of the IFOCE, as set out in their organization's mandate, is "to promote interchange of information on training for the sport." Training for the sport?? My God. We are a lost cause.
Happy News.
David Duchovny has reached an agreement with FOX and will be returning to The X-files for the 2-hour series finale and will direct an episode that he co-wrote with Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. My heart is near to bursting with anticipation - could they actually end this to the fans' satisfaction? They just might.
David Duchovny has reached an agreement with FOX and will be returning to The X-files for the 2-hour series finale and will direct an episode that he co-wrote with Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. My heart is near to bursting with anticipation - could they actually end this to the fans' satisfaction? They just might.
2.20.2002
When I first read this, my eyes rolled so far back into my head, I could see my brain. Then I thought to myself, "Wait a minute. How can launching a member of 'N Sync into space be a bad idea?"
"I pinned them down -- between noon and 5 p.m.," said Liljenquist.
Visitors from Planet CableCo, perhaps?
Visitors from Planet CableCo, perhaps?
Now you see her, now you don't.
Sorry for the disappearing act. I came down with a mild case of spontaneity and left town for a few days to visit friends in Massachusetts. One of the benefits of being single and unemployed: the ability to come and go as you please. Of course, you can't go very far with no money. And that's where the benefit of having friends within driving distance who allow you to crash at their house comes into play.
Sorry for the disappearing act. I came down with a mild case of spontaneity and left town for a few days to visit friends in Massachusetts. One of the benefits of being single and unemployed: the ability to come and go as you please. Of course, you can't go very far with no money. And that's where the benefit of having friends within driving distance who allow you to crash at their house comes into play.
2.16.2002
"Forget about taboos, forget about conservative ideas with respect to what you should tell young people about it. It's the lives of young people that are most at risk by unsafe sex, therefore protect yourself."
High marks to Secretary Powell, I say. Now I hope he sticks to what he said and doesn't backtrack under conservative pressure.
High marks to Secretary Powell, I say. Now I hope he sticks to what he said and doesn't backtrack under conservative pressure.
Oh, this is horrific. Not to put too fine a point on things but, didn't anyone notice the smell?
(registration required, but free)
(registration required, but free)
2.15.2002
How embarrassing! Thankfully, he wasn't hurt. Unlike the fellow playing Judas in a performance of "Jesus Christ Superstar" on Broadway that I went to a year or so ago. Judas was so caught up in his betrayal of and bitterness towards Jesus that he stepped right off the edge of the stage and plunged into the orchestra pit, hitting his head on a railing on the way down. The show, however, did indeed go on and soon afterward Judas returned to the stage with an egg on his forehead that makeup could not cover. I don't know how he was able to belt out his songs with the crashing headache he must have had.
2.14.2002
I added a couple of blogs to the navigation bar at left. Davezilla.com can always be counted on for a belly laugh (see his current Bob Vila post for proof). Diary of a mad monk is just exquisite (try and read some of the archives so you can get a better feel for what he's talking about).
Cake or death?
A British vicar is giving up preaching on Sundays for Lent. I wonder if Eddie Izzard's heard about this?
A British vicar is giving up preaching on Sundays for Lent. I wonder if Eddie Izzard's heard about this?
Scientists have successfully cloned a domestic cat. I'm not beating that dead horse, don't worry - I just want you to see how freakin' cute she is. What a little chunk!
Invisibles
I've missed quite a few of these!
Invisibles #60: Musical Numbers - 5 outta 8
Invisibles #61 - 7 outta 8!
Invisibles #62 - 4 outta 8
Have fun!
I've missed quite a few of these!
Invisibles #60: Musical Numbers - 5 outta 8
Invisibles #61 - 7 outta 8!
Invisibles #62 - 4 outta 8
Have fun!
The Onion has thoughtfully put together a page of valentines that you can print, cut out and give to that special person.
And finally, my Onion horoscope is particularly relevant:
And finally, my Onion horoscope is particularly relevant:
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)Now they tell me.
Dating isn't always easy, but you've got to either dust
yourself off and get back in the saddle or stop dating horses.
Love at the movies.
My favorite romantic films, in no particular order:
My favorite romantic films, in no particular order:
Falling in LoveHow about yours?
Casablanca
An Affair to Remember
Strictly Ballroom
Sense and Sensibility
The Philadelphia Story
Now, Voyager
Doctor Zhivago
Witness
The Princess Bride
Pride and Prejudice (A&E) (I know, this is a miniseries, but it's my list and I can put anything I want on it)
What is your Love Story?
This Emode quiz is pretty long, and I had to fudge a couple of answers, but my results aren't too far off:
This Emode quiz is pretty long, and I had to fudge a couple of answers, but my results aren't too far off:
At its core, the Love Conquers All story is very romantic, triumphant, and full of courage to face yourself with honesty. The catalyst for change in your love story is usually a pivotal event, circumstance, or reevaluation of yourself.
Where should you look for these pivotal moments? Challenges may come from family and society — even yourself. Do loved ones disapprove of your partner, raise concerns you hadn't previously cared that much about? Turning points may also stem from previous obligations at work, or in promises you've made to others. Do you reschedule or delay plans with your partner because you feel the need to honor responsibilities at the office? Do you prioritize taking care of a friend in need over the needs of your mate?
These themes are echoed throughout history and recorded in diaries, novels, television and films. In Jane Austin's novel "Emma" for example, the protagonist put everybody else's romantic needs before her own. Had she not stopped to question herself, she would have missed a chance for love altogether. Was she just looking after her friends? Or was she guarding herself from the potential hurt of a relationship or unrequited love?
I'm giving in.
I wasn't going to acknowledge today's "holiday", for reasons I am sure most of you can figure out and maybe even sympathize with; I mean, who needs to be reminded of what they don't have by those who are wallowing in it? Right?
Well, I caved. I'm in a good mood today, and no matter how vehemently I may try to deny it, I am a romantic at heart. So, herewith I shall commence with the Valentine's Day posts. Let's start with my wish to you, via my new webcam :-).
I wasn't going to acknowledge today's "holiday", for reasons I am sure most of you can figure out and maybe even sympathize with; I mean, who needs to be reminded of what they don't have by those who are wallowing in it? Right?
Well, I caved. I'm in a good mood today, and no matter how vehemently I may try to deny it, I am a romantic at heart. So, herewith I shall commence with the Valentine's Day posts. Let's start with my wish to you, via my new webcam :-).
2.13.2002
It's a bird! It's a plane!
Big news from vacation: I went skydiving! Yes, I jumped from a plane at 10,000 feet, with a free fall for 40 seconds, and I loved it. I was not under the influence of drugs, illicit or otherwise. I paid extra for photos and video of the jump and I've posted some of the images for you. They came out so great, and the video is awesome (with post-production including U2's Elevation and Beautiful Day). I was strapped to Mike (a wonderful guy) and Shelly (a wild woman) was the photographer.
I hemmed and hawed about doing it but finally gave in at breakfast that morning. My 2 sisters, Sheila and Mary, my brother Tommy, and his best man Chris also jumped that day. What a great time. I still can't believe I did it. It's difficult to describe the experience - the assault on your senses; the adrenalin rush; the gorgeous view of the Keys; the simple, quiet beauty of floating down through a cloud. I've certainly never experienced anything like it before.
I want to give a shout out to the folks at Sky Dive Key West (Mike, Shelly and Christian) - if you're ever in Key West or any of the lower Keys and you want to experience a major rush, stop by Sky Dive Key West - I highly recommend it!
(If you look closely at the last image, of Shelly, you can see my face on the video monitor behind her, lol!)
Big news from vacation: I went skydiving! Yes, I jumped from a plane at 10,000 feet, with a free fall for 40 seconds, and I loved it. I was not under the influence of drugs, illicit or otherwise. I paid extra for photos and video of the jump and I've posted some of the images for you. They came out so great, and the video is awesome (with post-production including U2's Elevation and Beautiful Day). I was strapped to Mike (a wonderful guy) and Shelly (a wild woman) was the photographer.
I hemmed and hawed about doing it but finally gave in at breakfast that morning. My 2 sisters, Sheila and Mary, my brother Tommy, and his best man Chris also jumped that day. What a great time. I still can't believe I did it. It's difficult to describe the experience - the assault on your senses; the adrenalin rush; the gorgeous view of the Keys; the simple, quiet beauty of floating down through a cloud. I've certainly never experienced anything like it before.
I want to give a shout out to the folks at Sky Dive Key West (Mike, Shelly and Christian) - if you're ever in Key West or any of the lower Keys and you want to experience a major rush, stop by Sky Dive Key West - I highly recommend it!
(If you look closely at the last image, of Shelly, you can see my face on the video monitor behind her, lol!)
NY Times quote of the day:
"You're perhaps the most accomplished confidence man since Charles Ponzi. I'd say you were a carnival barker, except that wouldn't be fair to carnival barkers."Good one.
Senator Peter G. Fitzgerald,in comments to Kenneth L. Lay, former chairman of Enron.
A cranky critic talks about Oscar nominations. I haven't seen Mulholland Drive so I'm not with him on that point, but I do agree with his description of the Academy as "a small, conservative (aesthetically, I mean) group of Hollywood insiders". I'm really tired of worthy individuals being looked over while the same four people get nominated every so often. Just because a movie wasn't mainstream does not mean that it was not good, nor that the performances within them were not Oscar worthy. But then again, what does "Oscar worthy" mean anymore?
2.12.2002
Isn't that illegal in some places?
My brother Tommy is 12 years younger than me (he's 25 - you do the math). It was his wedding that brought us all to Key West. His sisters and best man took him out on the Thursday before the wedding for an alcohol-soaked evening of, well, alcohol comsumption. A great band (Shack Daddies) was playing at Sloppy Joe's, and as one of the bandmembers was returning to the stage after a break, we stopped him and told him how great they were, blah blah blah, and would they give a shout out to Tommy and Stacey, who were getting married on Saturday. Being nice guys, the Shack Daddies did indeed give that shout out; they then invited Tommy and Stacey to dance to a song they were dedicating to them. Since Stacey was not amongst our group, Tommy grabs me and takes me out to the dance floor, where we slowdanced as an engaged couple. Soon others joined us. After about two minutes of barely suppressed hysterics, I said to Tommy, "We'd better get off this dance floor before they ask us to kiss." Sufficiently grossed out and laughing, we rushed off the floor and back to our beers. Or shots.
My brother Tommy is 12 years younger than me (he's 25 - you do the math). It was his wedding that brought us all to Key West. His sisters and best man took him out on the Thursday before the wedding for an alcohol-soaked evening of, well, alcohol comsumption. A great band (Shack Daddies) was playing at Sloppy Joe's, and as one of the bandmembers was returning to the stage after a break, we stopped him and told him how great they were, blah blah blah, and would they give a shout out to Tommy and Stacey, who were getting married on Saturday. Being nice guys, the Shack Daddies did indeed give that shout out; they then invited Tommy and Stacey to dance to a song they were dedicating to them. Since Stacey was not amongst our group, Tommy grabs me and takes me out to the dance floor, where we slowdanced as an engaged couple. Soon others joined us. After about two minutes of barely suppressed hysterics, I said to Tommy, "We'd better get off this dance floor before they ask us to kiss." Sufficiently grossed out and laughing, we rushed off the floor and back to our beers. Or shots.
The nominations are out. No big surprises, I suppose. Maybe I'll go to the movies today; I'd love to see LOTR again, but Gosford Park is beckoning as well...
What the....?
It's late and I'm half asleep, so please correct if I'm wrong...this is a joke, right? If so, it's very funny. If not, well, it's very weird.
[link from wilwheaton.net]
It's late and I'm half asleep, so please correct if I'm wrong...this is a joke, right? If so, it's very funny. If not, well, it's very weird.
[link from wilwheaton.net]
2.11.2002
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has successfully sued to halt the production of "anatomically correct" Oscar statues. Why Oscar, is that a big sword in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
This line had me rolling my eyes: The academy has long taken a dim view of unauthorized commercial exploitation of the Oscars, which it sees as tarnishing the image of Hollywood's most prestigious award. Authorized commercial exploitation, from all appearances however, is perfectly OK. Who do they think they are? the Nobel Prize Committee?
This line had me rolling my eyes: The academy has long taken a dim view of unauthorized commercial exploitation of the Oscars, which it sees as tarnishing the image of Hollywood's most prestigious award. Authorized commercial exploitation, from all appearances however, is perfectly OK. Who do they think they are? the Nobel Prize Committee?
"Under the instructions of counsel, Mr. Lay will exercise his Fifth Amendment rights at the hearing Tuesday."
Kenneth's Lay's attorney fears the congressional hearings may become "too prosecutorial" for his client. What a spinless, gutless coward.
Kenneth's Lay's attorney fears the congressional hearings may become "too prosecutorial" for his client. What a spinless, gutless coward.
2.10.2002
A public television customer service rep goes ballistic on a viewer. I gather it wasn't pledge week.
[link from tvbarn]
[link from tvbarn]
2.09.2002
Back.
We returned from Key West late Wednesday night. What a wonderful vacation. It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things, and now I think I may be coming down with the flu. I should be able to get back to blogging some time tomorrow, if not earlier. I took a shitload of pictures so you can expect to see some of them soon.
I hope you all had a good week.
We returned from Key West late Wednesday night. What a wonderful vacation. It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things, and now I think I may be coming down with the flu. I should be able to get back to blogging some time tomorrow, if not earlier. I took a shitload of pictures so you can expect to see some of them soon.
I hope you all had a good week.
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