TheOneRing.net Interviews Matt Lasorsa - New Line Home Entertainment: "Since the announcement of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King's May 25 DVD release date, fans have been speculating about details of the content, the packaging and when the Special Extended Edition will hit shelves. Matt Lasorsa, New Line Home Entertainment's senior vice president of marketing, offers some insight into the much anticipated home video release in an informative Q&A. "

It's less than a month away!

Better stop calling them the Wachowski brothers: "We hear 'Matrix' co-creator Larry Wachowski is ready for the sex-change operation that will finalize his conversion to a woman named Linda."

Now that is something I did not expect to be reading.

Koppel Defends "The Fallen": "I thought it would get attention, but did I think it would become so controversial, did I think that people would feel the need to question the patriotism of those who are putting it on the air? Did I think that it would descend to the depths of some people suggesting we were doing this because the networks are going into a sweeps period when ratings become important?

You start to wonder after a while. I've been doing 'Nightline' for over 24 years, I've been at ABC for 41 years, if that's really the impression I've left with people then I have failed in such a colossal way that I can't even begin to consider the consequences of it."

Life after Xander: 'Buffy' actor Nicholas Brendon enters alcohol rehabilitation.

Bob Edwards Signs Off 'Morning Edition': "Bob Edwards signed off Friday after nearly 25 years as host of National Public Radio's 'Morning Edition,' thanking the 'hundreds of people who have done their best to make me sound like I know what I'm talking about.'"

First the move, now no more Bob Edwards in the morning - I can't take much more change!

ABC affiliates ordered not to air 'Nightline' tribute: "'Mr. Koppel and 'Nightline' are hiding behind this so-called tribute in an effort to highlight only one aspect of the war effort and in doing so to influence public opinion against the military action in Iraq,' the statement said."

I find this outrageous, incredibly stupid and self-defeating. Sinclair Broadcasting, in accusing ABC of politicizing the issue, has done just that by issuing this order. Is it any wonder that the chief executives of the company were big Bush-Cheney supporters? I tell you, we live in some scary, scary times.

Home, Sweet Home

My father asked me last night how it felt to own my own house, and I told him it feels wonderful. I am bone-tired, my arms and legs look like they belong to Courtney Love, my brain may shut down at any given moment, but I feel wonderful.

There is still an immense amount of work to do, but we have accomplished quite a bit. The kitchen is nearly done being unpacked, and the new fridge and stove will arrive on Saturday. We set up the living room on Tuesday night - looks good. And I managed to set up my computer last night and configured a dial-up account to use until my DSL is transferred on May 4th. We've picked out a lawn mower at Home Depot; now we just have to get ourselves back there and buy it, along with a trimmer, before the grass gets up to my knees. I've even got a few hanging pots of flowers around the house.

So, things are progressing. I'd have been able to get even more accomplished if our office's router didn't completely die this weekend, making it necesary for me to come in to the office for 5 hours on Tuesday and Wednesday. Shit happens, I guess.

Can't wait to get home.

Oh dear, the years have not been kind to George.

Wow! I thought I needed a haircut!

Hey!

I bought a house yesterday!

We'll be moving this weekend so I'll be scarce around here. I just can't believe we actually did it. Talk to you soon.

That F*cking Deadwood: "The show has taken its sweet, foul-mouthed time in getting up to speed, but, if Milch’s scholarship can be trusted, we are being treated to a remarkably frank picture of life on the jagged edge of the West. Certain parts of the narrative have been brilliantly, even movingly, told. "

I am completely engrossed in this show.

Jennifer Garner in for the long haul: "Garner officially signed to return for season four and added that she plans to stick with the show indefinitely."

The latest.

We are closing tomorrow morning at 10:30. So far.

Remind me...

Why I'm buying a house? If it's because I want to have a stroke, then the plan is working. Nothing new under the sun, I know - people go through this all the time - but the stress! Oy!

We found out on Monday that we weren't going to be able to close on Friday because the attorney for the other side is recovering from a serious heart attack (surprise, surprise), only works until noon each day and is booked for Friday. We switched it to tomorrow morning, and now the mortgage company is coming back with all of these requests for information that they said they didn't need earlier on. So now there's a good chance we won't close tomorrow, but will have to wait until Monday. Which really bunges things up because we have the truck reserved for Monday and people lined up to help us move, and Mary is coming from RI with my mother's bedroom set on Saturday, and the seller is inclined to not let us in before the closing since their original deal fell through. If that's the case, we will probably have to hire movers since there will be no one to help us during the week.

Breathe, gina, breathe.

I Renounce Homer Simpson and All His Teachings: "Someone at Rutgers needs to do a study on the predominance of four-fingered characters on The Simpsons. This unrealistic portrayal of appendages could, at best, create severe body image problems among our young people and, at worst, lead to a spate of pinkie mutilations as people are influenced to follow The Simpsons' four-fingered lead. "

Checking In

Things seem to be going fairly well with the house purchase. We have encountered a small obstacle with our closing, which we were hoping to schedule for Friday - the attorney for the other side is apparently very ill, and is only working until noon each day. Their Friday morning is all booked up, so we are trying for Thursday morning. Keep your fingers crossed!

Thought last night's Alias was one their absolute best efforts. Makes me wish I had taped it! Also, it's after seeing an episode like last night's that I want to go out and buy the DVDs.

I got a bit of good news today - an unexpected and unasked for raise at work. And some glowing reviews. Just in time for the mortgage!

Spacey 'comes clean' over park incident: "He said he actually injured himself when he tripped over his pet as he chased the youth. But he told police he had been attacked in the hope they would 'run out and find this kid a block later'."

I'm not so sure he was only walking his dog in that park at 4:00 in the morning.

The Lord of the Peeps:The Fellowship of the Peep.

Buffy/Angel TV movies?: "The WB has approached Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel creator Joss Whedon about doing at least a movie-of-the-week or two and possibly as many as six next season"

Could be a good thing. But only if the original cast returns.

Scroll down this page and take a look at the photo of this guy. Tell me he isn't the freakiest looking person you have ever seen. I'm hesitant to go back and finish reading the story, he scares me so much.

Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs recieves a hug from ...Carson Kressley.

Just thought it was a cute picture. And Carson is my favorite.

Okay, so what the f*ck's up with this gay hairdo, Prince Valiant?

British actors Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman launch their 20,000 mile London to New York motorcycle journey in London, April 13, 2004.

I'm looking forward to seeing this show, and I'm hoping it will be along the lines of Michael Palin's Pole to Pole and Around the World in Eighty Days series.

The lights go out at the Bellagio: "An unknown source caused damage to electrical power lines early in the morning of April 11."

It was a pinch!

(see "Ocean's Eleven")

Mobile Phone Explodes in Hong Kong: "'I was just calling my boss to say I would be returning to work a few minutes late, and when I pressed the button to hang up, the phone was suddenly flying everywhere,' the man told ATV. "

I bet he won't be late for work again.

Sorority women told to lie to give blood: "In an e-mail sent last Tuesday to about 170 members of Gamma Phi Beta, Christie Key, the chapter's blood donation coordinator, wrote: 'I dont (sic) care if you got a tattoo last week LIE. I dont (sic) care if you have a cold. Suck it up. We all do. LIE. Recent peircings (sic)? LIE.'"

Oh, that's nice. Real responsible. She should be ashamed of herself.

Today's gem from Philip Michael's of teevee.org, under the "watch me" heading:

"President Bush holds a prime-time Presidential Press Conference to explain how his presidency isn't nearly as miserable as it might seem."

Wrong way driver stops to complain to police: "The 86-year-old granddad from Bern, Switzerland, said he had even flashed his lights at six motorists on the A6 motorway to let them know they were in the wrong."

Note to self: If you're going to steal an alligator, make sure his name isn't Mr. Cranky Pants.

Auction to dump unwanted gifts on the Moon: "The company will launch a private spacecraft that will crash into the lunar surface at about 5,500mph."

So we haven't done enough damage here on Earth? We now need to dump our garbage on the moon? Who the hell thinks of these things?

Pirate of the Cotswolds: "'Then Johnny got this look in his eye and started yelling that he had to kill the chef for making such amazing sticky toffee pudding and custard. He had it for three days on the trot and says it's the most delicious thing he's ever eaten.'"

That makes me smile.

Bush league timing for speech: "Since Bush's press conference is starting at 8:30 -- no one in the TV biz can remember such an odd start time for a White House event -- and isn't expected to wrap until 9:15 p.m., Fox also decided to bump '24,' which airs at 9 p.m. Tuesday.
This week's episode of the Kiefer Sutherland starrer will now air Sunday at 9 p.m., against HBO's hit 'Sopranos.' "

And "Alias". Jesus Christ! If I wasn't buying a house, I'd be buying a Tivo.

Speaking of the house, we got our mortgage commitment and if all goes well, we'll be scheduling the closing for the last week of the month!

Today's lesson: How did the Easter bunny become part of a religious holiday?

Children on Easter Egg Hunt Find Guns.

Nice.

Underwater Easter Egg Hunt. Cool.

One dirty bird: "You could feed an infant grape Kool-Aid and he might reject the breast. Does that mean you should keep feeding him grape Kool-Aid until he crumbles in a diabetic heap? The force of evil that brought this bad, bad show into the world should take responsibility for itself and refuse to spread this level of cultural pollution. "

(viewing of ad required for day pass)

Oh my goodness. I have no idea who this is, although I'd wager she (or is it a he?) is 90% synthetic.

Mexican Woman Performs Own Caesarian to Save Baby: "'She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts ... and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried,' said Dr R.F. Valle, of the Dr. Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico."

It amazes me how you could have one woman who is willing to cut herself open to save the life of her baby, while another woman refused to undergo a C-section that would have saved her baby's life because she allegedly didn't want a scar.

Jailed murder suspect plucks out eye: "Andre L. Thomas was in a county jail cell Friday night when he tore his eye out of its socket with his hands, said Grayson County Sheriff Keith Gary."

Before this, he had torn the hearts out of his estranged wife, her 1-year-old daughter and their 4-year-old son, all of whom he killed. All in the name of God. What is it with the proliferation of family-murdering religious zealots in Texas?? (see Andrea Yates, the lady who just stoned her little boys to death and this piece of work) Just horrifying.

Gimme a "U"!!

And the Second One's Good, Too: UConn Women Join Men as Champs: "As the final buzzer sounded Tuesday night, Diana Taurasi grabbed the basketball and punted it deep into the seats at New Orleans Arena, setting off the second half of a Connecticut celebration for the ages: the first sweep of the N.C.A.A. basketball championships in the same year by men's and women's teams from the same college."

Body missing 14 years found in storage unit: "'I think (my mother) found out he sexually abused me and she confronted him.'"

Hello, Lifetime Channel - are you hearing this?

BTW, I am the world's most gullible dork: I fell for this year's teevee.org April Fool's gag. Good one, guys.

Billy Bob left Angelina because she scared him.

She scared him??

J-Lo's mum hits casino jackpot: "Our Lady really looks out for me."

Because we all know how much she must need the money.

Who? Me? Jealous?

UConn routs Georgia Tech for NCAA title.

Way to go, boys! Now it's the girls' turn tonight.

Latest Victoria's Secret model: Bob Dylan.

There are so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin.

Police: Evidence doesn't support abduction claim: "Police have stopped the search for a suspect in the case of a University of Wisconsin student who said she was abducted, Madison's Assistant Police Chief Noble Wray said at a Friday news conference."

Some of those inconsistencies:

For example, the honor student told told police that after taking her at knifepoint, her captor used duct tape, rope, cold medicine, a gun and a knife to keep her under his control.

Although those items were found in the marsh where she was located, buttressing her account, police obtained videotape Thursday that showed Seiler entering a Madison store and buying those items, he said.

Also, during the time she said she was held captive, two witnesses reported having seen her apparently "walking freely" in different areas of the city, he said.

Someone used her computer during the time she was missing. Also, he said, the computer had been used to look up a five-day weather forecast and search wooded areas in and around Madison.

I told you so.

Police: Student changes abduction story: "The University of Wisconsin honor student who said she was abducted at knifepoint from outside her apartment has changed her account of the incident, Assistant Police Chief Noble Wray said at a Friday news conference."

I won't say "I told ya so" yet, but I'm not surprised at this turn of events. My theory on what happened? One of three things: 1) she suffers from sort of neurological or mental disorder that causes her to blackout, hallucinate, whatever; 2) there's something like Munchausen-by-Proxy going on here, and this is for sympathy and attention; or, and I think this is the most likely scenaro: 3) this "abductor/attacker" is someone she knows, is in a relationship with, and she's making up these stories to cover for the things he has done to her (like that weird February "attack" story to explain the black eye and bruised cheek she had). And I find it very hard to believe that she spent 4 days being held captive by this mystery assailant, yet she can only give the most vague description.

I'm glad that she's been returned unharmed; I just hope she's telling the truth.

X-Files Movie A Reality?: "David Duchovny has revealed that pre-production is already under way on a sequel to the X-Files movie, six years after the original tale of extraterrestrials hit cinemas. The actor, currently promoting comedy Connie and Carla in the US, told Moviehole.net: 'It's definitely happening. Chris [Carter, X-Files creator] has a great idea for the new movie and I expect we'll be able to begin shooting in the next year or so.' He added: 'I think we're going to be introducing a new character in the film which will allow us to cast a major star, male or female. I think the new movie will appeal to both our core fans and a broad audience.'"

I wonder, will they pick up where the show left off, with Mulder and Scully on the run and no longer in the FBI, or will they just pick up where the movie left off? Hopefully the former.

Fat Hamster in Printer Sparks Rescue: "Contrary to his normal habits, Teddy climbed inside a PC printer and was unable to get out because of his corpulence," police in the northern city of Flensburg said in a statement, adding that they initially thought it was an April Fool's joke.