My home page is customized, through SBC Yahoo DSL, and one of the items I have included is a list of the top selling DVDS for the current week. This is today's list:

Top Selling DVDs
Week of 01/30/2004

1. Murder by Death
2. Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
3. Driving Miss Daisy
4. Tom Jones - Live at Cardiff Castle
5. Strange Brew
6. I Love Lucy - The Complete First Season
7. Donnie Darko
8. Spirited Away
9. Rudy
10. Godspell

I'm sorry, but that is just the weirdest list.

Stole it, they did!

Yes, it's all about you, David.

This is so disgusting, it is beyond my capacity to even imagine.

UPDATE: *GAG* (link fixed)

Have a nice trip...

...see ya next fall, Halle!

She has to be the most accident prone actor out there. The insurance premiums on her must be through the roof! Anf this article doesn't even mention the almost-choking-to-death-during-the-love-scene incident from Die Another Day.

Whoa!!

'The Osbournes': In Show’s Return, Dogs Train the Osbournes: "So the series still features scenes (like the excruciating haul-by-hand of a 980-pound golden Buddha to the back of the Osbournes' property) and epigrams (Ozzy to workmen: 'I wanted it out the front') that highlight the mighty absurdity of family and professional life. These bodies — Ozzy's, which contains an incalculable alchemy of drugs and bat DNA, and Sharon's, which was made by surgeons — can simulate the human condition, which is still wrenching and funny at once."

Hmm. Maybe this will be the season that brings me back to the Osbournes. I really want to see Ozzy's accident portrayed on the show, too. Not the horror, but the recovery. I'm hoping he's able to get off some of the 40 pills a day that that Beverly Hills doctor had him on.

There's a new "24" on tonight, too, and Sherry Palmer is back in town. Woohoo!

Experts: Vicious worm 'Linux war' weapon : "A sneaky e-mail worm continued to clog Internet traffic Tuesday, spreading faster than previous Web bugs by appearing as an innocuous error message. "

We received quite a few infected e-mails here at work, and I'd say the "1 out of 12" infection rate is pretty accurate. No one infected themselves, though, so we're cool. It's interesting that they're now saying that the code was specifically written as a malicious attack on SCO UNIX by a Linux fan, heating up the Linux war. If only all wars could be fought this way, huh?

'Rings' reaches for Oscar gold: "'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King' already has earned gold -- the Golden Globe for best drama. Now the film reaches for the ultimate Hollywood accolade: Oscar. "

Add this to the fact that the Academy actually recognized one of the best performances of the year - Johnny Depp in "Pirates" - and this may be the year that I come back to the Oscars. Maybe.

Looking for a way to drum up some dates with the ladies? Curtis Leo Dechaine has come up with a surefire way to meet the love of your life.

Lord of the bling-bling.

Salon.com recaps the Golden Globes:

"10:10 p.m. Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie. Al 'Ponytail' Pacino is nominated, so Al 'Ponytail' Pacino will win, which is probably why he hasn't altered a beat in his Pacino imitating Pacino act since the mid ‘90s. Still, Pacino imitated Pacino exceptionally well in 'Angels in America,' so fine. He sees Jack Nicholson in the audience. Jack yells to him onstage. See, this is just like going out for beers with Pacino and Nicholson, except that there are all of these other people with their boobs out all over the place. OK, this is more like going to a topless bar with Pacino and Nicholson. "

(requires viewing of ad for free day pass)

'Bout damn time.

We are certainly having a good old-fashioned New England winter: "The snow should really get going during the day or early afternoon Tuesday, possibly changing to a wintry mix with snow and sleet Tuesday evening, then changing back to snow tomorrow night. As the system exits Wednesday, it will leave in it's wake in the neighborhood of 6-15 inches, with locally heavier amounts."

Man Comes to Court in Bumblebee Costume: "To Protest What He Calls a 'Sting' by Prosecutors."

Hehe.

Good Lord, this is the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Strolling Lady Is Swallowed by Sinkhole: "It was a typical Sunday afternoon for 57-year-old Linda Sharp. She grabbed her dog and his leash and headed out for a routine walk. Everything was fine until she hit a bump in the road. "

Namath undergoing counseling for alcohol abuse: "Well, I've enrolled, or I've gone into a center, and I'm getting personal help there,' the Hall of Fame quarterback told ESPN in an interview to be aired Sunday. 'Yeah, these people are experts and we need to talk'."

But not before I get a kiss.

TV's 'Captain Kangaroo,' Bob Keeshan, dead: "The format was simplicity itself: Keeshan would wander through the Treasure House, wearing his distinctive big-pocketed coat, and talk with Brannum and the puppets. Shows were frequently interrupted with silliness, such as hundreds of ping-pong balls dropping from the ceiling or Mr. Moose's knock-knock jokes. "

Rest in peace, Captain.

The latest on the Mars rover: "The flight team for NASA's Spirit received data from the rover in a communication session that began at 13:26 Universal Time (5:26 a.m. PST) and lasted 20 minutes at a data rate of 120 bits per second.

'The spacecraft sent limited data in a proper response to a ground command, and we're planning for commanding further communication sessions later today,' said Mars Exploration Rover Project Manager Pete Theisinger at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif. "

I'm still holding out hope.

Hasselhoff's daughters hate Knight Rider. So? Show me a 13- and 11-year-old who do like his music and show, then you'll have a news item.

The real gem in this article comes at the end: "I want to do a funny sitcom about the Betty Ford Clinic. A possible title would be Treatment and Recovery. So many funny things happen there."

A real side-splitter, I'm sure.

Maybe the Gods Aren't Crazy After All

The deceased owner of this coffin died from injuries sustained from a coke bottle tossed off a cliff.

If Mustangs weren't so shitty in the snow, this would be in serious contention for a spot as my dream car.

Caption this photo.

NASA team loses contact with Mars rover.

Damn.

Cell phone most hated, needed invention: "The random telephone survey of 1,023 adults and 500 teenagers was conducted Nov. 12-19 by Princeton, New Jersey-based Taylor Nelson Sofres Intersearch and was released Wednesday "

Yet the "Quickvote" on today's CNN homepage, which seems to represent a better cross-section of the public with over 40,000 votes so far, shows the alarm clock to be the clear front runner as the most hated and most needed invention, with over 50% of the vote. Hmm.

(I voted for the alarm clock)

Army deployed in beer rescue: "The Rosar brewery in Omsk, part of the Interbrew Belgian group, says it is ready to take the beer back. "

Seriously, they're ready to take the beer back now, guys.

Catch-24

Well, no "24" tonight. If I had any memory left at all, I would have recalled that the previews after last week's episode were advertised as "two weeks from tonight." But I don't have any memory at all, and only recalled this bit of information after I had to look in the TV listings of zap2it.

I was able, however, to get my "24" fix by reading the finalists' entries in Salon's Fix 24 Contest. Good stuff. I agree wholeheartedly - bring the immediate threat back into the US and spice up the President's side of the story (which seems to already be happening with the return of Lady MacBeth, Sherry Palmer).

If listening to the President speak wasn't like dragging my nails across a chalkboard, The State of the Union Address Drinking Game 2004 could be fun. Then again, I could use closed captioning for the first half and turn the volume up once I'm so drunk I don't care.

I wonder if "24" is on tonight.

(thanks, snarkcake)

Heading North

I'll be away for the weekend, but I'll try to post, if I can. I'll be enjoying a long overdue visit with Hol and Krys - yay! Have a great weekend.

BRRRR.

I'm going to make this recipe this weekend. Mmmmmm.

White men dominate science posts.

And in other news, useless surveys continue to report findings that we already know.

'First Wives Club' author dies at 54: "Goldsmith had been in a coma since last Wednesday after complications resulting from anesthesia during plastic surgery".

What's the word I'm looking for? Sadly ironic? Ironically sad?

ACK! ACK! ACK ACK!!

Follow-Up!

The Bill O'Reilly Bad Sex Writing Contest. They've awarded third and second place. Tomorrow is the winner. (viewing of ad required for free day pass)

(I haven't read any of them yet - definitely nsfw)

Man killed snake with nail-clippers. Oh my God, that must have taken forever.

Jackson's two oldest children 'are Jewish'.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more bizarre. Where's the bearded lady at?

Snow Miser Suspected in D.C. Snow Attack: "Pentagon officials have openly speculated that one man is behind the terror that has immobilized the American capital. 'We have seen his work in the past. We don't need UN inspectors to tell us who is behind today's events,' proclaimed Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. 'Only one man has the technology to grasp Washington in his icy clutch: Mr. Ten Below himself, the Snow Miser.' "

Found this gem while I was hunting down a photo of Mister Icicle, posted here on the right in honor of our lovely weather.

Snow returns to Connecticut this morning. And damn it's cold.

Mars Exploration Rover Mission:: "Note the tracks left in the martian soil by the rovers' wheels, all six of which have rolled off the lander. This is the first time the rover has touched martian soil."

Dog Tracks Deceased Pal to Funeral Home: "'It was just a dog looking for his pal,' he said. "

Aw.

Duran Duran Spruces Up 'Queer Eye' Soundtrack: "The first new Duran Duran song borne out of the original lineup's long awaited reunion will appear on the upcoming soundtrack to the hit Bravo show 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.' "

Why does this seem like a fitting match to me? These guys were "metrosexual" before the word even existed.

Car Crashes Into Family's Living Room: "As Matthew Wahlgren watched his living room crumble to pieces, the 22-year-old figured a huge earthquake had rocked all of San Francisco — until he noticed the Pontiac parked next to him."

Britain's 'Doctor Death' Hangs Himself: "A British family doctor blamed for killing at least 215 elderly patients over several decades hanged himself with bed sheets in his prison cell, a prison spokeswoman said Tuesday. "

Physician, heal thyself.

Alright, who snuck into my bathroom and took this picture of me?

Friends reunion: stars to net $2m each: "The cast of Friends have been given a staggering $2 million (£1.08 million) each to make a special 90-minute reunion which takes place one year after the show's finale."

"Friends" reunion?? Only one year after the show ends? And what kind of a reunion could it be if "the show will be filmed right after shooting finishes on the last ever episode of the New York-based comedy"?? Maybe they all have memories like me and will have forgotten each other already?

It must be the aluminum in the soda cans.

Forgotten, despite reminders posted here, since Friday:

LOTR cast on "Charlie Rose";
LOTR cast on A&E's "Breakfast with the Arts";
and last night's new episode of "Alias", the one that's supposed to explain where the heck Syd was for 2 years.

It won't be long before I start walking around like Uncle Billy, with strings tied to all of my fingers. Honestly, I'm borderline scared, here.

It snowed overnight, just a couple of inches, and everything was coated in a light, fluffy powder. Pretty.

Transvestite car chase man drives by police HQ: "Oregon police officer Fisher said: 'We joked at one time that we probably could stop and get a cup of coffee, pick this [chase] up again later, and still catch up with him,' Fisher said."

Lucky for them, he was an old lady transvestite. For some reason, this story made me think of another Eddie Izzard bit, from "Dress to Kill", when he's talking about how the Queen could have been cool back in the 60s if she rode around in a convertible E-Type Jaguar with a scarf and sunglasses on, and smoking a cigarette - and that if she got pulled over by the cops she could tell them, "Fuck off, I'm the Queen!" and tear ass out of there. I think it may be time for an Eddie fix.

Elijah Wood, Sean Astin and Andy Serkis are on The Charlie Rose Show tonight. Check local PBS listings for time.

Another cool photo from Mars.

Jim Carrey Top Money-Making Star of 2003. For what? "Bruce Almighty"?? I think someone gets paid WAY too much.

Man's Apartment Encased in Aluminum Foil: "No detail was too small or too time-consuming. The toilet paper was unrolled, wrapped in foil, then rolled back up again. The friends covered Kirk's book and compact disc collections but made sure each CD case could open and shut normally. They even used foil on each coin in Kirk's spare change. "

Now this, I would like to see.

'American Pie' Star Working Hard on Her 'Big O': "Asked at a London news conference if she had been busy practicing her orgasms, Hannigan said: 'All the time.' "

Saddam 'arrest' photo shown on internet: "It appears to contradict the official version of Saddam's arrest in which he was said to have given himself up without a struggle."

Ohio Woman Admits Lying in Lotto Case: "Battle said she wanted to use the money to help her family and recently laid-off Cleveland police officers. "

Suck-up! Methinks someone is a little nervous about a possible charge of filing a false police report.

Happy Birthday to Elvis and David Bowie. I can't remember my friends' birthdays, but I can remember this date. You tell me.

Woman Wins $162M Mega Millions Jackpot: "A woman turned in the winning $162 million Mega Millions lottery ticket Tuesday, saying she came forward sooner than planned because she was angered by another woman's claim that she bought the ticket and lost it. "

Busted.

It was cocaine that killed one of the Righteous Brothers. It's hard to believe that Bill Medley didn't know Hatfield was using cocaine, esepecially if he was using enough to essentially kill himself. And usually, one doesn't get to be that age (63) and start using - he must have been battling addiction for a while now.

Whatever, it's too bad they never learn.

Mars Exploration Rover Mission: Home: "The Mars Exploration Rover Spirit has captured its first color image of Mars. It is the highest resolution picture ever taken of another planet"

Keep returning to this page to check for the latest images from Spirit.

I am completely addicted to Text Twist.

Is this the Sea of Tranquility? Sea of Tranquility?

NASA rover finds Earth in Martian sky: "By all accounts, the robot ship made a nearly flawless landing late Saturday, far surpassing even the most optimistic predictions of precision to hit its landing target.

Within hours of touchdown, Spirit beamed back black and white images from its new home, including a stunning panorama complete with a nearly setting sun and a possible cliff face along a depression or mini-crater inside the crater. "

Just look at the photo they're talking about. (I wish I had 3D glasses!) I get goosebumps when I look at it. Just awe-inspiring, and my imagination is running wild. I keep expecting someone/something to wander into the frame. Keep those photos coming, Spirit.

Rose admits to betting on baseball: "'I didn't think I'd get caught.'"

Too little, too late, pal. You'll be lucky if anyone believes anything you say from now on.

Britney Spears Marries in Vegas: "The 22-year-old singer married Jason Allen Alexander of Kentwood, La., early Saturday at the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Strip, according to People.com, the Web site for People magazine. "

No alcohol involved in that scenario, huh?

Speaking of alcohol, Happy New Year! It completely slipped my mind to post new year wishes here. This is my second 4-day weekend in a row and my mind, I think, is stagnating, lol. I hope your 2004 is filled with happiness and prosperity, and maybe even a quickie wedding in Vegas.