'The Osbournes': In Show’s Return, Dogs Train the Osbournes: "So the series still features scenes (like the excruciating haul-by-hand of a 980-pound golden Buddha to the back of the Osbournes' property) and epigrams (Ozzy to workmen: 'I wanted it out the front') that highlight the mighty absurdity of family and professional life. These bodies — Ozzy's, which contains an incalculable alchemy of drugs and bat DNA, and Sharon's, which was made by surgeons — can simulate the human condition, which is still wrenching and funny at once."

Hmm. Maybe this will be the season that brings me back to the Osbournes. I really want to see Ozzy's accident portrayed on the show, too. Not the horror, but the recovery. I'm hoping he's able to get off some of the 40 pills a day that that Beverly Hills doctor had him on.

There's a new "24" on tonight, too, and Sherry Palmer is back in town. Woohoo!