"You're supposed to be HELPING us!"

Did anyone else watch The Daily Show on Comedy Central last night? Jon Stewart's opening monologue had me vigorously nodding my head and yelling "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" at the TV. Well, I probably didn't yell it out loud, but I was thinking it. And I don't really speak in the hip-hop/urban vernacular, either, but that's not the point.

Stewart was fit to be tied, hysterically railing against the 24-hour news channels and their coverage of current events, especially yesterday's plane crash in Queens. I wish I could get hold of a transcript since I can't remember it exactly, but I'll try anyway. He made particular note of something said by one of the anchors (he let slip that he was watching CNN), he said, because it was such an incredible "mind fuck". He said he wrote it down simply because it was outrageous: an anchor was speaking to an "expert" of some sort regarding "uncomfirmed reports" about something or other and actually asked the expert to "speculate on some of the assumptions we've heard today." !!! Speculate on assumptions?? I'm scared shitless enough as it is (this is me talking, by-the-way) -- I don't want unconfirmed reports, I don't want speculation and I do not want assumptions. Just go the fuck away and come back when you have some cold, hard facts, for Christ's sake. The major news outlets have a hard-on for speculation and it just has to stop.

Too bad Jon Stewart isn't on Buffy. He could be my dream date.