R.I.P., boys.



In Memorium, their first scene on The X-Files:

LANGLY: So, check it out, Mulder, today I had breakfast with the guy
who shot John F. Kennedy.
MULDER: Is that so?
LANGLY: Old dude now, but yeah. Says he was dressed as a cop on
the grassy knoll.
BYERS: And, Mulder, listen to this. Vladmir Zhirinovsky, the leader of
the Russian Social Democrats? He’s being put into power by the most
heinous and evil force of the 20th century.
MULDER: Barney?
BYERS: The C.I.A.
SCULLY: Hmm.
LANGLY: Is this your skeptical partner?
FROHIKE: She’s hot.
BYERS: You don’t believe that the C.I.A., threatened by a loss of power
and funding because of the collapse of the cold war, wouldn’t dream
of having the old enemy back?
SCULLY: I think you give the government too much credit.
SCULLY: I mean, the government can’t control the defecit or manage
crime…
SCULLY: …what makes you think they could plan and execute such
an elaborate conspiracy?
FROHIKE: She *is* hot.
MULDER: Settle down, Frohike.
BYERS: I’m not talking about the bunch of idiots up on the hill trying
to bone the capital pages. We’re talking about a dark network,
a government within a government, controlling our every move.
SCULLY: How can they do that?
BYERS: How? I’ll show you how. You got a twenty dollar bill?
SCULLY: Hmmm… I’ll check.
(She digs into her back pocket, looking at Mulder, who smiles back.
She pulls out a twenty.)
SCULLY: Um-hmmm.
(Byers holds the bill in front of him and rips off its left side.
Scully crosses over to him)
SCULLY: Hey!
(Mulder laughs. Scully looks back at him. Byers pulls out the magnetic
anti-counterfeiting strip.)
BYERS: That’s just one method. They use this magnetic strip to track
you. Whenever you go through a metal detector at an airport, they know
exactly how much you’re carrying.
MULDER: Hey, Byers, it is a federal crime to deface money.
SCULLY: This strip is an anti-counterfeiting measure.
LANGLY: How come it’s on the inside? Other countries put that strip
on the outside.
BYERS: What are they hiding?
(Mulder waves his hands to get their attention.)
MULDER: O… o… ok, alright. What do you know about the Gulf
War Syndrome?
LANGLY: Agent Orange of the 90’s.
BYERS: Artillery shells coated with depleted uranium.
MULDER: Have you heard of any classified planes being flown during
the Persian Gulf War?
BYERS: Why would you need to expose a secret plane to an air force
that runs to Iran whenever you take to the air?
MULDER: What about UFO activity during that period?
(Langly and even Byers laugh.)
LANGLY: Yeah, UFOs caused the Gulf War Syndrome, that’s a good one.
BYERS: That’s why we like you, Mulder, your ideas are weirder than ours.