I just spent an hour tearing this place apart, trying to find my sneakers and trying not to lose my mind in the process. I knew they were last in the living room, but I checked in every closet, under every piece of furniture, behind every open door; finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and I called my sister at work. Yes, I could have just put another pair of shoes on, but that wasn't the point. This had become a matter of principle.

Me: "This is going to sound crazy, but have you seen my sneakers anywhere?"
Sister: "Yeah..."
my chin drops at her lightning-quick response
Sister: "...they're behind the cushions on the right side of the couch. I put 'em there last night when Marty was chewing on them."
Me: "Thank God. I thought I was losing my mind. OK, bye."

Now that I've got 'em on my feet have recovered from the joy of my vindication...Thanks a lot for telling me, Sheila!