Saturday, Day 5

I've stayed away from the television today, for the most part. I watched a portion of the ABCNews special with Peter Jennings and kids from New York this morning, as well as the eulogy for Father Mychal Judge, the NY Fire Department Chaplain who died while providing last rites to a fallen fireman. Both were moving, inspiring, and terribly sad. Maybe I am deficient in some way, but I needed to back away, to re-enter my own life to some extent. So I turned the television off and spent some time with my mother and sister. We talked about the tragedy, and found that we were focusing on the 'good' stories surrounding it - the stories of bravery, selflessness and, at the risk of sounding corny, brotherhood. It is not fair that I can turn the TV off and walk away for a few hours when so many are in such pain. But I can, and I do, because that is the only way that I can deal with it. I still teeter on the edge of an emotional abyss, ready to cry with only the slightest provocation, but I need some normalcy in my life. Some room to breathe.

I nearly cancelled it, but I've decided to go ahead with my trip tomorrow to Maine. I will be driving up and staying there alone, for the first time. I am hoping that the peace and quiet will do me some good, help to restore some inner balance. On the other hand, it is just as likely that I will become bored by Wednesday and return home still off-balance, but that's a chance I'm willing to take ;-).

I'm leaving in the morning, so there won't be any posts after this one until at least mid-week, probably later. Have a good week, everyone, and as my Grammy used to say, "Peace be to ya."

TIME.com Photoessays - the one entitled "Shattered" is especially powerful.
New York Times Slideshows
New York Times - The Heroes