Idol: Top 12 Men

Alright, I said I wouldn't do this, but I'm caving to the pressure. For now. These are the briefest of impressions and I may abandon this at any moment, so consider yourself warned...

Does anyone else thing it's completely ridiculous that the contestants are required to pick from a list of 50 songs that are 40 years old and then are called out by the judges for being old-fashioned? I'd love to see them let these kids sing whatever the hell they want week after week and let the chips fall where they may.

Anyway, the guys (in the order they appear on the AI site because I can't remember the order they sang in):

Chikezie - I can't remember what he sang, just that it was very 70s soul and the red suit was ghastly and he sealed his fate by mouthing off to Simon. Buh-bye.

Colton Berry - The kid gets props for admitting on national television that he looks just like Ellen DeGeneres (and he does). But that's all he gets from me. He sang Suspicious Minds like it was a number from High School Musical. Gah.

Danny Noriega - I couldn't even watch him. Drama Queen. He needs to GO.

David Archuleta - Adorable, but over-praised.

David Cook - Dude needs to lose the hair, but if I close my eyes I really like him. I thought he did an awesome job with that song (Happy Together).

David Hernandez - I was outside having a smoke and I missed him. He's got a purty mouth, though.

Garrett Haley - That Neil Sedaka song was PERFECT for him but it was also very weird. Simon was a bit over the top with his criticism of him, but Garrett was gracious. Doesn't he look like a combination of Leif Garrett, Peter Frampton and that blonde guy from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?

Jason Yeager - Oh my God that was the epitome of CORN! Moon River? Seriously? And what's the deal with his kid's hair?

Jason Castro - I am not a fan of the long dreads but LOVED this guy. I think he has natural talent and he is adorable.

Luke Menard - I was mesmerized, but sadly not by his voice. This guy is BEAUTIFUL. I mean the can't-stop-looking-at-him-and-saying-"Jesus Christ he's gorgeous" kind of beautiful. The voice is weak but he's got serious face power.

Robbie Carrico - Like Simon, I question his authenticity as a "rocker". He was in a boy band before this, for crying out loud. He can sing, though.

Michael Johns - Who cares if he can sing (he can)? I want to have Michael Johns' babies.

Tonight, the Top 12 Women.