Cancer: (June 22—July 22)Oh, sure. It couldn't be the one where I come home at night to find Hugh Jackman running my bathwater, George Clooney chilling the champagne and Tommy Lee Jones lining up the massage oils...Wait - did I just say that out loud?
One of your wildest dreams will suddenly come true. Unfortunately, it's the one in which each of the demon's fangs has its own little shrieking face.
12.19.2001
My horoscope from The Onion:
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