Why can't I ever remember to watch Dennis Miller? He's one of the best things on TV, yet the only time I ever catch his show is when I stumble upon it while channel surfing. Why is that? Whatever the reason, I can be thankful that at least HBO posts his rants online.

My favorite portion of his latest, The War on Tobacco, dated 5/18/2001:

"Our war on tobacco is a microcosm for a fundamental contradiction in the American psyche. We see ourselves as independent, livin'-my-life-without-the-government-on-my-back Marlboro men until something goes wrong, whereupon we turn into whiny, litigious crybabies looking for someone to foot the bill for our fuckups.

Currently there's a raft of ex-smokers suing tobacco companies because they got sick, and I just don't think that's right. Sure, I hate tobacco companies and think they sell a quintessentially evil product, and then lie insidiously through their yellowed teeth, all the while trading in their venal, profiteering souls for a lucrative paycheck in this life, knowing full well they'll spend all of time having their flesh raked by the fiery claws of Hell, while the cries of all their victims resonate in their ears for all eternity. That being said, I hate lawyers even more. "

If you'd like to read the entire rant, go to Dennis Miller Live and click on the red Rant link. A javascript window will pop-up containing the most current rant. If you get a chance, go back and read some older rants in the Rant Archive, accessible at the bottom of the pop-up window.

Okay, could I have said "rant" more often than I just did in that last paragraph?