Idol: Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, It's the Last Stop on the Audition Tour!

Disclaimer: I had a hard time concentrating. I have a very bad cold, Mickey would not stay still and that was just as well because Marty kept trying to hump him.

So the best I can do is highlight a few of the more memorable characters from San Antonio:

First, there was Brian with the creepy energy. Loud and in your face. I guess he thought he could scare the judges into letting him through to Hollywood. Not so.

Haley Scarnato was wearing this really groovy one piece halter thing that really showed off her kickin' body. I thought she was good, but Randy said she was just OK and Simon said she was too "cabaret" (the outfit was, yes). I must be getting old because I liked her. She gets through to Hollywood, despite their reservations.

Poor, deluded Jasmine, and her uneducated family's sign: "Are Next American Idol".

Baylie Brown is 16 and is from Krum, TX and would have fit perfectly into a mockumentary we watched this weekend about a nasty teenage beauty pageant (Drop Dead Gorgeous). She's cute, she can sing, she has a highly marketable name, and she's going to Hollywood. Simon tells her she was "born to be a pop star" and she nods her head in agreement. Confident? Conceited? Time will tell.

We got an "Other Door" montage, a tribute to the best part of this year's audition shows. Thank you!

William Green, one of a pair of cousins, hilarously sang "Amazing Grace" like "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" and cracked us up.

His cousin Akron Watson, however, has a beautiful voice and is on his way to Hollywood. Unfortunately, Akron also has little to no personality, and will probably be heading back home very soon.

Ashlyn Carr made funny faces while she sang (not really all that well, I thought) so they told her no; but then they called her back and gave her another chance. She still made funny faces and still sang only mildly well, yet this time they put her through. Probably because she's cute. But I don't think I like her.

Tonight's show is a roundup of highlights from the audition tour, the good, the bad and the horrific, and I think I'm going to skip it. Let's get to the real competition.