Fug Right: "I see you watching your magazines and your Alias and talking about Jen II and Ben Affleck and wondering if I am raging furious about her fruity ovaries! But you are all crazy. DO I LOOK FUCKING FURIOUS? DO I? I did NOT get so angry that I got tangled up in my necklaces and can't get them off. Does this look like angry hair? No! This is my 'Edith and Mergatroyd down at the salon say I look prettier like this' hair! This is my 'Get out of my hot tub, you paparazzi shitclown' hair! THIS IS NOT ANGRY HAIR ABOUT THAT WOMAN AND HER STUPID FAT WOMB. "

Damn, I wish I could be that funny.