Idol Top 12: Stevie Wonder Night

Well, it was U-G-L-Y. It was 2 hours of ugly, actually. I need to do a better job of reading the TV listings.

OK, actually, there were a couple of really, really good performances but otherwise, uh-uh. If that taught us anything, it's that they need to stay far FAR away from Stevie Wonder songs on this show. How many times do I have to say it? But you know what? They'll still be singing them in auditions next season and I'll still be covering my ears and hiding under a blanket when they do.

I don't know if Paula ran out of double-sided tape or what, but her lady berries (especially the right one) were dangerously close to making their primetime television debut.

So, this is going to be quick because I've got a wicked head cold/sinus infection and I'm not really able to form coherent thoughts at this point.

Ace and Kellie nearly brought the show to a grinding halt and it hadn't even started yet. Don't ask me what they sang because I don't know, and that is NOT a good sign. I sort of wish Kellie did have real tarantulas on her eyes. That would at least have been interesting. Elliot and Mandisa did OK, but not nearly as well as I had expected them to, and that has me worried for them.

Here's the thing about Lisa: I don't think her voice is nearly as powerful as everyone seems to think it is. I could barely hear her over the band and backup singers, and to be frank with you, her face was kind of freaking me out. Like, I didn't know someone could smile that hard. However, I do like her better than Paris now, who sang awesomely last night but whose personality has gotten way over the top.

Melissa, Melissa, Melissa. You pull off an upset last week and do you come out swinging, showing everyone they were right in voting for you? No. You forget the words to the song. You sang pretty well, but who noticed, really? I do give you points for the most suspenseful moment of the night: "I've been gargling with and swallowing...olive oil."

[aside: that Staples copy cat ad rocks]

Bucky sang exactly the song I thought he was going to sing, and it was serviceable. But that hair! Stay away from the hot rollers, Bucky!

Do I really have to talk about Kevin? Not only do I not think he belongs there (or ever belonged on American Idol), but now I don't like him very much. I think he's actually believing the lie.

I have only one word to describe Katharine: exquisite. Her voice, the song, her face...all perfect.

Taylor is the one I think has benefited the most from the stylist's attention - he was looking hot last night! Nice suit, dude. He kind of had a little George Clooney thing going on. Well, I thought he did. Oh, and he picked the perfect song and was awesome.

Now, I think Chris is very good at what he does, but man!! That was the most serious pimpage of a singer that I have ever seen on that show. Even Kevin would have come off brilliantly with all that smoke and mirrors crap. And Simon, you are wrong - Chris did not come up with something original and make that song his own. He did a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover.

Well, so much for a quick post! Tonight someone gets booted and I want it to be Kevin.