Idol Top Ten: How Did These People Get Here?

What the HELL happened last night? Did they feel too rushed? Were the arrangements not long enough for the singers to find a groove? Jesus Mary and Joseph that was not pretty.

Didn't Lisa look like she was going to cry? Maybe she should have - she'd probably make it to another week.

Kellie sang a really stupid song, which, when you think about it, was a perfect fit. I barely remember it. Blessedly, the show was so rushed there was little time for in-between chatter, so no HeeHaw schtick.

If Ace is not in the bottom three again then I call shenanigans. He looked completely lost up there. I can't believe he touched his hair when he said "hair". Then he flashed the scar in a desperate attempt to stay alive.

I'm not sure what Simon's plans are for Chris. His machinations are more blatant than ever - last week he praises Chris for not compromising and last night he criticized him for doing the exact same thing every week. Don't get me wrong, I agree with Simon that Chris stepped over the line with the song choice and needs to do something different, like, NOW, but make up your mind, Simon. Stay in the box...break out of the box...which is it? And Chris, 'what if' you just sang a song, for once?

I thought Taylor was great - great song choice (it doesn't bother me that I don't know it), great style (shut up, Simon) and great hair. I can't believe I not only understood Paula but agreed with her - I was wanting him to just stand there and sing a song and I think that's exactly what he needed to do after last week's bad song choice.

Now as for Mandisa, not great. Not all that good, either. Probably her worst performance. Enough with the yelling, Mandisa.

What is this world coming to when Bucky was the least cringe-worthy performer of the night? We did laugh at that swivel/slide move he did. Don't do that again, Bucky.

Paris was getting all sorts of freaky out there, wasn't she? Jesus! Not my kind of music but I will say that her's is a performance I will remember.

Speaking of Paris, I was dreaming about American Idol all night. The one dream I remember was about Paris and Taylor. (Try to imagine you're watching the show as a camera is following them around) Taylor was in love with Paris, but didn't know what to do about it. It was time for them to practice so we follow them down an elevator to a parking garage. They each go to their respective parking areas to practice (don't ask, I have no idea) and Taylor's singing "When a Man Loves a Woman". Paris comes over and joins in and they're singing it as a duet (and it sounded really good, btw), and you can see that Taylor's really torn up about whether or not he should tell her he loves her and they reach the end of the song and just when he has his chance...he walks away, pushes the up button and gets back in the elevator.

Interpretations accepted.

So where was I? Yes, Katharine. I was NOT hearing the same thing as the judges. I LOVE her, but she sounded awful. Granted, that style of song is not for me, so that may have something to do with it, but again, she looked really uncomfortable and disconnected from what she was doing. I hope she's safe.

So Elliot got the pimp spot! He was pretty good, but dude, the oompa-loompa dance does nothing for you.

I'm not sure how to explain the general suckage. It seemed almost as though they heard what the category was, thought, "Oo, I can just sing a song I like and not have to learn a new one" without a thought to whether it was a song they should be singing.

I know nobody likes a math geek, but I'll say it anyway: the year 2000 is not in the 21st century.

Tonight: I'm afraid. The bottom 3 is almost up for grabs after those performances. Who should go? Lisa.