Idol Top 5: Performances

OK, are we ready for effin' Neil Diamond night? No one is wearing the trademark sparkly shirt, thank God.

Each singer gets to perform two songs, and in a change of pace they won't be judged until after both performances.

Round One

Jason - "Forever in Blue Jeans"- He does a serviceable job, but it's pretty rote. It feels like I'm watching a kids' show from the 70s.

David C. - "I'm Alive" - He gives ND goosebumps, but it's a very poppy song that I don't really know. And it's probably Cook's most forgettable performance.

Brooke - "I'm a Believer" - Ooo, I don't think this was a good song choice for her. She looks terrified! I don't want to sound like Randy but I think she ended up pulling it together in the end and it actually sounded like a different song by the time she finished.

I'm thinking that either Neil Diamond songs are hard to make your own, or he was not a very good mentor because so far, I am not impressed. And they're not singing good Neil Diamond songs, either.

David A. - "Sweet Caroline" - I just don't know what to say about this kid anymore. I cannot STAND him and my dislike is bordering on the irrational.

Syesha - "Hello Again" - She makes it sound like a song from "Pocahontas" or something. I know Neil Diamond is sort of cheesy, but is he really this cheesy?

Ryan asks for a quick critique of Round 1 from all of the judges and Oh my God Paula goes totally off the rails and starts talking about Jason's second song. The song he hasn't sung yet. Does she even know where she is?

Round 2

I don't think I'm ready for this. Why are they singing all of the syrupy stuff?

Jason - "September Morn" - Could he act like he cared LESS about being up there? Maybe he doesn't. Talk about not connecting with a song.

David C. - "All I Really Need Is You" - OK, finally. This I like. FINALLY. Someone connects with a song.

Brooke - "I Am I Said" - I get so nervous when she sings now. Much better than the first song, and she did a really nice job with it.

David A. - "America" - I just can't. Jesus. Atrocious. David, you are no Kristy Lee Cook. The judges love it and I am going to PUKE.

Syesha - "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime" - Very Supremes-ish and it feels like the beat is too slow. Corny.

Man, who would have thought that Neil Diamond night would have been such a nightmare? Tonight was, for the most part, excruciating. I am so disappointed. I need to go listen to "Live at the Greek".

The best of the night: David Cook and Brooke on their second songs.

My predictions for the Bottom 2: Syesha and Jason. Find out tomorrow night who goes home.