!!

Peter Jackson. Unrecognizable.

(well, almost)

Meet the smoothies!: "While the metrosexual spends a lot at Barney's, shops for heirloom tomatoes at Dean & Deluca, keeps his CD collection carefully alphabetized, and nurtures a wide range of house plants without help from his gay friends, the smoothie is a horse of a different color. ...The smoothie's interest in his 'look' is more deeply felt and sincere than that, not to mention slightly misguided and disturbingly meticulous: Baseball caps are molded, painstakingly, into the perfect C-shape; stubble is trimmed into the perfect Don Johnson-style 5 o'clock shadow; 'distressed' jeans, with their calculated faded patches and hemmed rips, are cleaned and pressed and tugged just below the waist; eyebrows are waxed, as is back, chest and (gasp) the family jewels to boot. The smoothie spends a lot not just on clothes and haircuts, but on highlights, spray-tans, manicures and pedicures, bodybuilding formulas, gym memberships, dry cleaning bills, man jewelry and hip-hop classes. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the smoothie is like a cross between a frat boy and Britney Spears."

I've noticed this trend and it is extremely disturbing. Call me crazy, but I have no interest whatsoever in a man who not only spends more time cleaning up than I do, but by his mere existence would make me feel like a big, fat, hairy and unstylish lump. No thank you.

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Decision 2005 - The Final Two.

The Ultimate Hottest U.S. Senator Not Counting Obama - Bayh or Biden?

Putin Pockets Patriots Prize.

Aha, the old "I forgot I had it in my pocket and besides you capitalist pigs have more money than God" ploy.

Drive-By Review

The Girl in the Cafe - An HBO/BBC production, written by Richard Curtis ("Love, Actually", "Four Weddings and a Funeral", "Notting Hill") and starring Bill Nighy (aging rock star Billy Mack in "Love Actually") and Kelly McDonald. The film exists to promote an agenda for the upcoming G8 summit in Scotland, namely the eradication of extreme poverty, which is responsible, if you are to believe the film (and I do), for the unnecessary deaths of 30,000 children worldwide every day - that's one every three seconds. (Curtis is the man behind Comic Relief and is one of the organizers of the upcoming Live8 concerts). The movie is being promoted as a romantic comedy, and there is some of that, but I think it's much more undefinable. Nighy plays a painfully shy workaholic civil servant who one day meets a girl who is a quarter of a century younger than him in his local cafe and is a bit of an enigma. He invites her along to the G8 summit and it's through their relationship and conversations that we learn about the issues facing the G8. It's a sweet story about an unlikely pair and an emotionally engaging movie with a serious message. I recommend it.

I was just here. Where did I go?

Oy! This poor, neglected place. I'm sliding into that summer frame of mind where I spend a lot of time reading mystery novels (three in the past week!), spending time outside and trying not to think very hard about anything at all. And I do pretty good at it. As a result, stringing more than 2 sentences together for a post here becomes a challenge, and one that I keep putting off in favor of mental laziness.

But hey, it's summer and school's out, right? Yeah! So there!

Can you hear me now??

French Hotel Rep:: "'Tom and Katie were at the luxurious Sofitel Marseille Vieux Port in Marseille. Tom's entourage, which included members of the Church of Scientology, took the entire third floor and parts of the second floor. Thirty-four rooms were reserved in total, and there were 40 people on his security staff. Tom stayed in our presidential suite with Katie at $1,200 per night.' The bill is being sent 'to the studio.' "

It gets scarier with each passing day.

"Sudden Impact? What's That?"

Celebrity Charades: "And even more than 'Celebrity Poker,' charades brings out the personality behind the celebrity persona. It's a fast-moving forum that cannot be controlled or scripted, and one that quickly reveals who is smart and who is slow. In an era when actors are prepped for talk shows and even the most spontaneous moments are vetted and choreographed in advance, it's refreshing to see the likes of Bebe Neuwirth, Robert Klein and Stanley Tucci play an old-fashioned parlor game that tests acuity and movie knowledge as much as talent or looks."

Caught it last night and really enjoyed watching it for exactly the reasons the author states: Who's smart, who's not quite so smart; who knows their movies and who doesn't; who's got a personality, who doesn't. It was also fun finding out that the guy who looked like Steve Guttenberg, but not enough like him to be him, actually was him!

It airs every night this week at 9:00 on AMC.

Decision 2005

The Final Four.

Slim pickins, indeed.

March of the [impossibly cute baby] Penguins.

Summer's Here and the Time is Right.

Welcome to the first day of summer. And what a beauty it is! The weather has been so nice recently - no humidity, 75 to 80 degrees during the day and cool at night - it's kept me away from the computer. That means I'm not posting here, but it also means I've (we've) gotten a lot of yard/pool work done. I took some pictures around the yard this morning and I'll be uploading them to my Flickr account later today or tomorrow, so keep an eye out.

Life has been very low-key lately. Lots of dem parties (like Tupperware), showers and the like. Things will start picking up after this weekend, I think.

Let's see what today's news has to offer...

Duchovny fiddling with "The TV Set". I'm glad we get to see him in front of the camera again, but with Ben Stiller? Puke.

Alias Stuff

From Watch with Kristin:

"[Michael Vartan] confirmed he'd be back next season: 'I'm looking forward to Alias next season. We go back in July. Who knows how many years we have left? So, you gotta milk it.' Indeed.

When asked how he'll bounce back from that jaw-dropping head-on collision in the finale, and if the rumor floating around that he might be in a coma is true, M.V. smartly (JJ was listening) played coy: 'You know, I'm not at liberty to say, but it was a pretty vicious accident. If I'm in a coma, it'll be some of my better acting!' Humble and gorgeous. Everything I've ever wanted in a future husband.

JJ, meanwhile, isn't giving up anything about that freaking hatch on Lost. Despite repeated attempts to get any kind of tease, he would only joke: 'It's Vaughn! Wouldn't it be great if Vaughn was in the hatch?'

Staying mum also on Jennifer Garner, he said only, 'She's great. She's in Canada, working hard,' referring to the Kevin Smith film she's shooting, Catch and Release.

JJ did say they're moving full speed ahead on the new season of Alias. 'We have the ending of next year planned now, and I think it's the best ending of a year we've ever had. The ending is awesome! The ending of next year is even better (than this year).'"

I can't imagine what they could do to beat this year's finale, but just the fact that they've got the entire season mapped out is so encouraging. Now they need to tell us when the new season starts!

Wicked, tricksy, false!

Gov. Bush wants probe of Schiavo collapse now. God, they'll do anything to prove he's responsible for her death.

Orrin Hatch - Hot or Not?

Decision 2005: "Since it's not an election year, and we at HottestUSSenator.com got bored, we created an election of our own. When you think 'hot' you probably don't think U.S. Senators. But if you had to choose, who would it be? Here are the starting eight. We'll narrow it down to four, then two, then select an 'Ultimate Hottest U.S. Senator Not Counting Obama'. The winning Senator will receive a certificate for looking hot."

Party affilliation and ideology do not matter - just raw sex appeal. Obama can't play because of unfair advantage.

(thanks, wonkette)

Ketchup stain sparks e-mail flurry: "'Hi Jenny. I went to a dry cleaners at lunch and they said it would cost ?4 to remove the ketchup stains. If you cd let me have the cash today, that wd be much appreciated.'"

Cheap bastard.

Oh for the love of Pete! Just go away. PLEASE.

Drive-By Reviews

Alien vs. Predator - Like a can of Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli - not good for you, but quick, easy, doesn't taste too bad and you're not hungry anymore afterward.

Friday Night Lights - Really quite good. Not your typical sports movie, a true story about a small Texas town and its reliance on its high school football team for glory. I recommend it.

"Remember this date, for it is part of HIStory."

This must be seen to be believed. His aquittal is as important as the release of Nelson Mandela, the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the fall of the Berlin Wall? He really does not exist in the same reality the rest of share.

Wow.

That's no 4-foot python, lady...

...I'm just happy to...well, you know.

I poop on you!

Sanitation problems for climbers: "Because of the harsh conditions, piles of feces have accumulated at the mountain's crowded high camp, located at 17,200 feet (5,200 meters), Robinson said."

The Other Brother Darryl Not Heard From.

Bear Guzzles Campers' Beer, Eats Food - Yahoo! News:

"'He only drank three cans,' Larry he said. 'He would've drank all of them if it would've been Budweiser.'

Billy Bob Gaynor said the bear ate all of their food so they returned to Dunbar the next day.

'Either relocate them or let me eat them,' he said."

Yikes.

CT Shooting: "A man fatally shot his ex-wife, critically wounded her lawyer and then shot himself on the top deck of a parking garage outside of Middletown Superior Court Wednesday morning, law enforcement officials said."

The shooter had been looking to hire the husband of one our partners to represent him in the divorce. Thank God he didn't.

The Jackson trial -- the best of the worst items overheard during the Jackson trial. Sample exchange:

Ian Drew, Us magazine: "I am going to get both sides of the story..."

Bill O'Reilly: "Would you tell both sides of the story for Hitler? I mean, would you say, 'Oh gee, he had a bad childhood ...'? Come on. A monster!"

-- "The O'Reilly Factor," Fox News, Nov. 19, 2003

You can't accuse O'Reilly of blowing things out of proportion, that's for sure.

Salon.com Books | The journalist and the murderer:

"...there are a dozen points in "True Story," or a hundred, when I wanted to reach into the book and slap Michael Finkel. What I wanted to say to him was this: Chris Longo apparently tied rocks wrapped in pillowcases to the ankles of his sleeping son and daughter, and then threw them into a muddy pond in rural Oregon, where they spent the last seconds of their lives terrified, trapped, freezing, drowning. (They were recovered wearing only underwear, with no signs of trauma, looking almost as if they were still asleep.) I can imagine facing the bitter fact that even this man is a human being, and that no one could do something so horrible to people he supposedly loved without suffering some kind of grievous pain. But you, buddy -- you became his best friend. You sat by the phone with a pot of tea every Wednesday night, waiting for him to call. Were you completely out of your fucking mind?"

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Schiavo autopsy findings released today: "'The brain weighed 615 grams, roughly half of the expected weight of a human brain. ... This damage was irreversible, and no amount of therapy or treatment would have regenerated the massive loss of neurons.'"

I feel relieved and I had no part in the decision. Now maybe they can all let her go.

LOST Con Tidbits

'Losties' is a stupid word, but this was funny:

"At the end of a Q&A session with several of the show's writers, one audience member shouted, 'Don't kill Sawyer,' referring to the island's hunky bad boy. Executive producer Damon Lindelof replied, 'We won't. But he did get shot, which means his shirt will be off in a future episode.' As female crowd members whooped, Lindelof added, 'And he'll be wet' "

And there are a couple of interesting pieces of information re: "the others", the hatch and the rear section of the plane (I knew it!).

Report: Paris Hilton to retire in 2 years.

Retire? From what??

Jackson not guilty.

Pass the Jesus Juice, please.

South Africa's 'rain queen' dies at 27: "Custom forbids the queen from marrying, but the royal council chooses consorts for her for the sake of procreation."

Not a bad gig. Except for the dying-at-such-a-young-age part.

One Night Changes a Life, and Calif. Town
: "The crowd wanted him in the game. Amundsen wanted him in, too. But he was also afraid the slightly built 18-year-old might get hurt.

Amundsen considered all this as he walked toward Ryan and patted him on the shoulder. Off came the warmup jacket, the buzzer blew and Ryan kind of half hopped, half ran onto the court, his left leg trailing slightly at an odd angle.

The noise was deafening as he ran out on the court.

In the stands, Justin Belflower was near tears. A few years earlier, he was a jock at Clovis East, one of those big men on campus. He knew how hard his kid brother had worked for this moment.

'If you had said four years ago he'd play in a varsity basketball game, I'd say stop lying because it will never happen,' Justin said.
On this afternoon in February, it did.

And Clovis East would never be the same."

"We are finally descending, and soon I will be able to tear down the stinkshield, but the scars will remain."

From snopes, veracity undetermined. Funny regardless.

Going off the Rails on a Crazy Train

I told myself I wasn't going to do this anymore, but I just can't turn my eyes from the trainweck of insanity that is Tom Cruise right now.

So, psychiatry is a Nazi science now, huh? I think someone needs to start selling a "Save Tom" t-shirt. I foresee hours wasted perusing the site Operation Clambake, which carries the banner for "The Fight Against Scientology on the Net". It is a vast storehouse of articles, profiles, analysis and an archive of secret Scientology documents and even the FBI files on L. Ron Hubbard. Cruise is supposedly an "OT8" in the Church of Scientology and this is a brief description by Operation Clambake of that "thetan" level:

"OT 8 is a big expensive mystery, only delivered on the newspeak-named Scientology cruiseliner "Freewinds" out on the Caribbean. People who have completed this level have said that it is a review of all of the person's auditing and a verification/ nullification of discoveries the person has made about himself, that it is Route 1 and 2 from the Creation of Human ability book, that it involves looking into your past auditing folders in order to spot any moments where you were being somebody else, e.g. past life identities, which you have discovered on Int Rundown or NED and any body thetans you have unleashed on OT III, OT IV, OT V, OT VI, OT VII and on Lists L10, L11 and L12, then a meter check to see if these identities are right or wrong items. At the end of this new process (New OT VIII), you will have recovered all of your own time track, supposedly."

Sweet Jesus.

The Scientology Celebrity FAQ is exhaustive and very enlightening. And I've only read a small fraction of the total list.

An absolutely spectacular unfugging.

Bravo, Jack!!

Ah, Venice.

Traffic has SUCKED this week.

Does a bear stay in the woods?

No.

Bear Attacks Dog Inside Virginia House: "Rosie, a 3-year-old blue heeler, dashed inside, followed closely by Irving and the bear. Irving tried to close the door behind her but the bear forced its way through, pinning her momentarily behind the door, and attacked Rosie."

We came across a mother and her cubs at Mohawk over Memorial Day weekend. Here she is with one of her cubs (she had 3!) being chased from a campsite:



And this is a shot of one of the 2 cubs she had herded up a tree for safety:



What?? You can clearly see his tongue!

My Next T-Shirt Purchase.

Repressed-Memory Therapist Recovers Rockford Files Episode: "'I'm 8... I'm wearing my Pooh pajamas... wrapped in an olive-green blanket...' a transcript of Spees' first session read. 'A phone's ringing, but it's not mine... I'm waiting for someone to answer the phone... There's a message.... An important message about someone picking up the car from the garage? No, it's a woman saying she's lonely... no, it's a pizza shop. I'm not sure...'"
[...]
"Joan can run from her problems all she wants, but the haunting, sinister image of the gun in the cookie jar will be with her forever," Marnard said. "And even if she has discovered the source of the mysterious answering-machine messages, it doesn't explain Joan's recurring memories of a shadowy, mustachioed figure known only as 'Higgins.'"

I just don't get how something like this happens. What circumstances lead to 4 people lying dead in an apartment for 2 years without anyone suspecting anything? The article states that the 4 people died at different points over the last decade. So not only were they all dead in there for 2 years, some of them lived in that apartment with the ones that had died before them.

Man's leg lands in yard: "Pam Hearne heard 'a loud crash' and later was stunned to see a foot clad in an Adidas sneaker and a sock in her yard, said Officer Thomas Blanchard. The leg, with hip and spine attached, dented the shingled roof of her garage before bouncing into the lawn."

Ah, JEEZ.

God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson.

The lights on Broadway will be dimmed tonight in honor of Anne Bancroft, the winner of two Tonys, an Emmy and an Oscar. I just recently saw one of her later films, "84 Charing Cross Road" with Anthony Hopkins, and I highly recommend it.

Good question: "While authorities on the Canadian side of the border await his return, a question for customs officials lingers: At a time when the U.S. is tightening its borders, how could a man toting a bloody chain saw be allowed to enter the country? "

Update: US Customs could have locked this guy up purely on suspicion of being completely batshit crazy. Outstanding warrants or not, you just gotta know that he did something for which he should be put away. As an aside, were he and Jennifer Wilbanks separated at birth?

Being this cute has to be against the law.

Lohan wonders why tabloids care.

Honey, if they didn't, you wouldn't have a career. And please, please, please EAT.SOMETHING.

Katie Watch

They got her: "Holmes, who has been spending a lot of time at the Scientology Center in L.A., showed up at the junket for 'Batman Begins' at the Regent Beverly Wilshire with 'an entourage of Scientologists in tow,' said our spy."

I'm really starting to wonder if all those rumors that Cruise is a closet case are true. I mean, he does admit to considering becoming entering the priesthood when he was young (his ego notwithstanding, I don't even he would aspire to becoming the entire priesthood). Then there's the marriage to Kidman, with two adopted children, which was cut short right before the 10 year mark when according to a pre-nup they would have had to split everything 50-50, the Penelope Cruz PR affair...I know, I'm grasping at straws, but I guess I'm looking for an explanation for his antics. Maybe all his posturing and obnoxious cockiness is a manifestation of the suppression of his true self. Or not. At any rate, he is said to have recently fired his old PR firm, a company that seems to have done an amazing job of controlling and hiding his raging case of the crazies for years.

Of immediate concern, however, is the new girl. FREE KATIE. Please.

Oh, and in other Cruise News, my sister told me that Brooke Shields had more to say - she offered to send him, and I'm paraphrasing here, two tickets to her show in London, "one adult and one child." Zing!

Classic Movie Lovers Take Note

Turner Classic Movies has a couple of good things going on this month:

Ingrid Bergman Salute: 19 of her movies, played on Monday nights

Future Shock: Sci-Fi films from the Cold War era

I haven't seen quite a few of these films, so I may just have to check it out.

Aw, dude, I totally fell for it! (the Samuel L. Jackson part)

What a dork.

It's all your fault, Ben Affleck!

Jennifer Garner's pregnancy may delay the show's return, according to E!'s Kristin:

"I'm told ABC suits didn't know of Jennifer Garner's pregnancy when they decided to renew the show (given the surprising early pickup, she probably didn't even know herself), and now the higher-ups are in something of a pickle trying to figure out when the show can return...Sadly, according to a source close to the show, it's becoming unlikely that Alias will return in the fall as planned, instead coming back at a later date."

Only bright spot in all of this is that if they come back after the baby is born, then we probably won't have to deal with them knocking Sydney Bristow up and in all likelihood ruining the show. And maybe during the long wait they can come up with a better time slot than Thursdays at 8:00.

Sawyer is in a new movie: "'I am loving Vancouver,' Holloway says, calling during a break in filming. 'The Pacific Northwest is insanely beautiful.' "

And I am loving you.

Police 'free' S&M sex slave from car trunk: "Police stopped the car after a concerned caller told them he had seen a woman locking someone in the boot. However, on opening it, they were greeted by the sight of the 39-year-old man wearing nothing but a leather thong and a collar."

LOST adds one bad mothaf*cka to its cast. (see item #1 under "Notable TV Guest Appearances")

Discuss in comments due to casting spoilers that some may wish to avoid.

Brooke & Tom's War of the Words: "'Tom Cruise's comments are irresponsible and dangerous,' Shields said in London last week. 'Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women who are experiencing postpartum depression decide what treatment options are best for them.' "

The article goes on to say that Paramount/Dreamworks have cut back the press tour to promote "War of the Worlds", in favor of a smaller number of "preselected interview sessions". After the Der Spiegel debacle and the lunacy of his Oprah appearance, they might want to add "carefully controlled" to the description of those interview sessions.

Still here, barely!

No, the bears did not eat me last weekend. I managed to get sick when I got back and I'm just now recovering. I'll be back with some posts soon, hopefully today!

As summer nears, nor'easter appears: "Temperatures were only in the 40s or lower across much of the Northeast on Wednesday as a late nor'easter spread rain and gusty wind through the region, continuing a gloomy spring just days before the traditional opening of summer."

When I went outside last night to have a cigarette, at around 9 or 10, my breath was freezing. Freezing. At the end of May. Just in time for our trip to Mohawk Trail State Park this weekend! Actually, the park is on the other side of the state, and the temps are supposed to get back up to near normal in the upper 60s, so it shouldn't be too bad. The cabin has a wood stove, so we should be cool. Or warm. You know what I mean.

Anyhoo, this is my way of telling you that I'll be out of town for a few days and things will get quiet around here. I'll be back late Monday, May 30. Have a good one.

Must be the French Chick.

From another e-mail written last week about the May 18 episode of LOST:

Alias was so fantastic that it sort of supplanted LOST in my thoughts, but I still wanted to mention how much I really enjoyed the episode. What a great night of television!

I know that most of it was just set up for next week’s 2 hour season finale, but it was still very entertaining.

The scene where Sawyer told Jack about meeting his father is I think my favorite scene in the show so far, and sealed the deal on Sawyer as my favorite (for now). God, Jack is a good cryer! Shirtless Sawyer was just gravy. Woo!

So the ‘black rock’ is a shipwreck? Not sure what that means, but it’s certainly not what I expected. And the monster is the island’s ‘security system’? Hmm.

I loved all of the goodbyes, and I’m so glad that Sun and Jin reconciled. I just hope he survives whatever happens on the raft next week, especially after he told Sun that Jack is a good one to have as a friend. Besides the fact that he’s more handsome than I think it is humanly possible to be, I really like his character and I don’t want him to go.

Finally, everyone is almost on the same boat, so to speak, as far as knowing what’s going on on the island. They’ve all met the French woman at least, and everyone’s aware of the hatch. It looks like next week they’ll all finally catch up with Locke and understand that it’s the island that is controlling things somehow.

Remember, LOST is on for 2 hours, from 8-10, and Alias from 10-11!

The Spy Who Loved Me.

From an e-mail I wrote about the May18 double Alias episode:

There was just so much that went on in those 2 hours. Man, that was SO good.

Lena Olin amazes me, the way she can make us believe she is not only a cold, cold, ass-kicking spy but also a loving and protective mother (well, you know what I mean). The look on Irina's face when she realized who Nadia was put a lump in my throat. Speaking of Nadia, wasn't that exchange between Irina and Jack about her interesting? Jack said that Irina would enjoy getting to know Nadia, that she was exceptional, and Irina gave this funny look and asked "I wonder who she gets that from?" with a sort of twinkle in her eye. Anybody else think she might have been implying that Nadia was in fact Jack's daughter and not Sloane's? Is that even possible?

I really enjoyed Sydney last night, too. You can see how much she's grown up when you set her next to Nadia. Whenever she says "Mom?", I think my heart breaks a little. It was nice to see her relax and have fun at the club. Oh, and all of the weapons in her bedroom!

Did anyone else let out a little *gasp* when Dixon went in for the kiss in the stairwell with Chase?! Syd and Jack's reaction in the hospital was so funny. And so was Jack's response during the kinky nightclub conversation: "Yes, you are both still on comms!". I am so in love with SpyDaddy - big ear, pucker-y mouth, wonky leg and all. He is the bomb. "As if weapons grade anthrax grows on trees!" Hee! You're right, eip, Garber and Lena Olin have awesome chemistry.

So has Sloane really gone over the edge? It seems that way, doesn't it? Even if he's fallen under the Rambaldi spell, I don't think that will be enough of an excuse to get him back into anyone's good graces. He's gone too far now. I expect he'll be a pretty big baddy next season (if he survives).

I loved how the writers were able to sort of make fun of the outlandish plot through Vaughn. It's totally crazy, but as long as they understand how ridiculous it sounds, it's okay with me.

I was totally diggin' Vaughn last night. Man! Everything he said to Sydney made me go "Aw", and I am not an "Aw" person. The only complaint I had was that he didn't speak French when Sydney said that the guy in the club was French. He speaks French and I get all tingly. Mon dieu!

My heart went out to Nadia last night. She was so like a little girl. She's really had a terrible life, if you think about it, and from looking at the previews, her future ain't lookin' so good. I hope that if things can't stay the way they are, that she at least turns evil and joins her daddy. If she dies it will just be too sad. Can you believe this, from me? Who thought earlier in the season that Nadia was ruining the show? Will wonders never cease?

Jesus, that was good.

Tube Talk

The final week of the regular television season is finally winding down, for my shows at least.

Quickly:

American Idol had its final showdown between Carrie and Bo last night, and what a really draggy show that was! Neither of them was at the top of their game, and the original songs they had to sing were complete crap. I heard rumors last night that Bo had come down with food poisoning the night before, which might explain his lethargic run through of "Vehicle", and that Carrie's throat has been bothering her, which might explain Simon's remark to her about saving her throat. Bo did a better job on "In Your Heaven", but he didn't really seem to be there in spirit; and Carrie sounded really sharp on all of her songs and I think she should have sang "Alone" instead of "Independence Day". Bottom line: As far as I'm concerned, it's a toss-up. I think Bo's more deserving, but it could really go either way right now.

Tonight's big results show is 2 hours long, folks. I'll be watching the LOST and Alias season finales and packing for vacation, waiting for my sister to tell me who won. I wrote up a few remarks last week about the awesome Alias and LOST episodes, and I want to post them here today before the finales tonight. See above.

Good luck, Bo. If you win, try not to get completely destroyed by the Idol-making machine.

Congressman Slams Maher Over Army Remark: "Rep. Spencer Bachus, R-Ala., takes issue with remarks on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, first aired May 13, in which Maher points out the Army missed its recruiting goal by 42 percent in April.

'More people joined the Michael Jackson fan club,' Maher said. 'We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit, and now we need warm bodies.'

[...]

'I think it borders on treason,' Bachus said. 'In treason, one definition is to undermine the effort or national security of our country.' "

Another definition, it seems, includes having a sense of humor. I watched that particular show and it was funnier than 99% of what's passes for comedy on television.

Deadwood Finale (Major Spoilers!)

What a satisfying end to the season, both emotionally and morally.

• I have to say the most suspenseful part of the episode was the wedding. I really thought one of them was going to back out. Alma really looked very pretty. Having her say “I do” too early was perfect – she just wanted to have it over with. I loved her inner monologue/dialogue with Brom. It was right that she’d be thinking of him on that day, and it was revealing as far as how Alma feels: Ellsworth (or should we be calling him Whitney now?) is a good man, but the man she loves is in town as well. Now we know for sure why she stays.
• Jane and Joanie are such a good pair. I was sort of borderline when it came to Kim Dickens, who plays Joanie, not sure how good an actress I thought she was, but she is perfect with Jane. I was smiling a mile wide when they showed Charlie ride into town. He left in such an agitated state, it must have been wonderful for him to return to a happy event like a wedding and to see his two girls all cleaned up, dressed up and sobered up, and best buds to boot. I think the scabs on the side of Jane’s face are a result of the beating/rape that was implied when she showed up at Charlie’s on the wrong day for work, saying she had been really drunk and some guy gave her a beating and she could hardly remember it. Jane had the best line, at the end when the band stopped playing as Alma, et al were getting on the wagon to leave and she shouted offscreen, “We ain’t finished fuckin’ dancin’ yet!” (or something to that effect)
• How can the marriage fail when Richardson had his antlers with him? Actually, they didn’t do much good for William, did they?
• I’m hoping that Martha and Seth will actually be calling each other Martha and Seth by next season.
• EB is really off his nut, and I think it’s because he feels left out of all that transpired this season. He was always a sniveling weasel, but now he’s just desperate. I was shocked that he sold the hotel, but was relieved that he would be staying on as manager.
• What an episode for Ian McShane. If he won an Emmy this year that might go toward re-establishing the award’s relevance in my eyes. Keep dreaming, I know. Al’s orchestrations and manipulations are a wonder to behold, and he was so smart to take the $50,000.00 off the table with Yankton. He may be a vulgarian, but on an intellectual level he can hold his own with the likes of Hearst. His facial expressions when talking to Jarry had me dying. And it looks like he had Wu’s back all this time. Pretty much.
• “Wu! American!” What a great scene. I think maybe we won’t be seeing as many Pictionary scenes in Al’s office next season as Wu starts to give in and learn English.
• While Wolcott’s suicide did not surprise me story-wise, it was still a shock to see it happen. I am sorry to see his character go: As slimy and morally repellent as he was, Wolcott was unpredictable, honest in his assessment of himself and offered a viewpoint of the town as an outsider. Yet another reason to hate Cy Tolliver. ( I wonder if they can come up with a way to have Dillahunt show up yet again next season?)
• And speaking of Cy Tolliver, I owe Andy Cramed a big ol’ kiss on the lips for at least trying to rid the show of its worst actor and most despicable character. I doubt Tolliver will die, but God it was so rewarding to see him close to it. One can only hope! And three cheers to Joanie for cutting ties permanently with him and leaving his care to one of his whores.

So, we have some endings: Wolcott is dead, Lee is dead and Tolliver is hopefully but probably not dead. We also have the beginnings: Alma and Ellsworth newly married, Deadwood and Yankton newly married, Al and Hearst newly partnered, EB newly rich, Sol and Trixie becoming a regular pair, Seth and Martha facing the future together, Martha starting her job as the teacher and Jane and Joanie holding court at the Chez Ami.

I can’t wait for next season.

Oh sweet Jesus. I'm sorry, words escape me.

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

First the ridiculous Katie Holmes cradle-robbing PR stunt and now this.

Tom to Brooke: Don't be woman of substance: "...in an exclusive interview to be aired Thursday on 'Access Hollywood,' Cruise tells host Billy Bush that Shields was misguided when she took the anti-depressant Paxil to fight her depression after giving birth to daughter Rowan - which Shields recounts in her memoir, 'Down Came the Rain'

Cruise, who zealously preaches the Church of Scientology's hatred of all mind-altering drugs, tells Bush: 'Here is a woman, and I care about Brooke Shields because I think she is an incredibly talented woman. You look at, where has her career gone?'"

He never was a particular favorite of mine, but now my indifference is quickly turning to dislike. Keep your freaky 'religion' to yourself (and that includes keeping your Scientology propaganda tents off the lots of the movies you make) and mind your own damn business. Grrr.

What goes so wrong in his upbringing that a human being, practically a child himself, rapes and literally throws another one away? And a little 8-year-old girl, no less? And while I'm at it, what the f*ck is going on Florida lately?

Blossoms in Blue

May 4, 2005

Hey, scout!

Reclusive 'Mockingbird' Author Appears: "...she couldn't refuse an invitation from Veronique Peck, the widow of actor Gregory Peck, who won an Oscar for his starring role as lawyer Atticus Finch in the 1962 film version of the book and became a lifelong friend with Lee."

Church sex abuse case may involve 24 children: "The former pastor told deputies he had been having sex with children for many years and 'also educated the children as to how to perform sexual acts with each other and with animals,' Carpenter said."

There's a special place in Hell reserved just for them.

Solitary Man

Neil Diamond, Unplugged and Unsequined: "They were working on a song called 'What's It Gonna Be,' on which Mr. Diamond plays acoustic guitar, something he has not done on a record for decades. The song was spare and unpolished, and the two were discussing whether it needed a second guitar to steady the rhythm. 'I just want to make sure we don't lose the loneliness of it,' Mr. Rubin said. "

There were 3 reasons for me to rent "Saving Silverman": Jack Black, Steve Zahn, and Neil Diamond. My whole family are big fans, actually. One of the few albums I remember my father listening to was a cassette tape of Diamond's "Live at the Greek" that he had in his car. Rubin did unbelievable things with Johnny Cash on his last CD, so I'm really looking forward to this.

Tommy Lee Jones proves there's life behind camera: "After his directorial debut premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, picking up the best actor and best screenplay awards on the way, the Texan said he hoped to make more films."

So that's why we haven't heard anything from him in so long.

"Come and get a full measure of justice from this dirty old lawyer,' he purred."

*gag*

Deadwood

I thought this week's episode ("The Whores Can Come") was very good. Quickly:

• Anna Gunn (Martha) really nailed the whole grief thing. The way her head moved so jerkily, as if the relentless horror of her son's death could be avoided by turning away, only to find that it's everywhere and there is no escape.
• Preacher Andy needs to work on his funeral sermons, I think. Although if Cy has anything to do with it, he won't be around for much longer.
• The scene where Alma accepts Ellsworth's proposal as her carries Sophia up the stairs was a lovely one.
• So, we have Hearst coming to town. Does he really know of Wolcott's nasty habit? Will he finally be able to put ob-freakin'-noxious Cy in his place? Will poor E.B. lose his hotel?
• Why did Mose Manuel live? (I haven't seen the previews)
• There's something going on between Jane and Joanie - sexual tension, perhaps?
• Everything Al said about Wu and the San Francisco c*cksucker went *zoom* over my head. All I got was that Al wasn't backing Wu in regard to the burning of the Chinese whores in the street (horrifying) because he didn't want to be seen to be taking sides at this point in the game. Maybe?

The season 2 finale (!) is this Sunday, don't forget!

Camel Sits on W.Va. Woman Painting a Fence: "Volunteer firefighters and the property owner helped move the 1,500-pound camel off the woman, who was having trouble breathing, ambulance driver Brent Hicks said Wednesday."

Imagine calling in sick with that excuse!

Maine Series 5

New growth.
May 2, 2005.

Bo-dacious

American Idol's final 3 performance show was last night, and hoo-boy! the show belonged to Bo. While he was singing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" I was actually compelled to tell the TV screen, "I love you, Bo!" How embarrassing. Then he went and brought the house down with his a capella version of "Within a Dream" by Badlands. I have never heard that song before but it doesn't matter - he's like on a totally different plane of existence than Carrie or Vonzelle now. It's a shame he had to follow that with the Stones' "Satisfaction", just a horrible, horrible song choice by Paula. Does she know anything about what she's supposed to be doing in her capacity as a judge? He did a serviceable job on the song, but still. God.

Carrie's version of "Crying" was actually quite good, I thought (I think it helped that they had her face in shadows and you couldn't see her vacant eyes while she sang such a heartbreaking song), but the poor thing had to follow Bo's a capella song and she did it with an Air Supply song. Air Supply??! Carrie! She finished with one of my absolute least favorite songs by one of country music's most overrated singers: "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!", by Shania Twain, which is actually not sung at all but sustained by personality, something Carrie is sorely lacking. But it was country, which everyone thinks is her forte, so they loved it.

Baby V will be going home tonight, I think. She was still really shaky on all of her songs, although I think she did a good job with the Simon-picked "On the Radio". She's sweet, and I really like her, but her performances haven't really been up to snuff, and Carrie has such a loyal fan base (she's never been in the bottom 3), that I don't think she's going anywhere.

Fug Right: "I see you watching your magazines and your Alias and talking about Jen II and Ben Affleck and wondering if I am raging furious about her fruity ovaries! But you are all crazy. DO I LOOK FUCKING FURIOUS? DO I? I did NOT get so angry that I got tangled up in my necklaces and can't get them off. Does this look like angry hair? No! This is my 'Edith and Mergatroyd down at the salon say I look prettier like this' hair! This is my 'Get out of my hot tub, you paparazzi shitclown' hair! THIS IS NOT ANGRY HAIR ABOUT THAT WOMAN AND HER STUPID FAT WOMB. "

Damn, I wish I could be that funny.

Maine Series 4

Fallen tree.
May 2, 2005

Fall Season Rumor Mill

I thought I'd stir things up a little and pass along a few unsubstantiated rumors about the new fall TV season:

• NBC is renewing West Wing, but is looking at moving it from Wednesdays to Sundays, which may be good news for those of you who watch Alias
• FOX is renewing Arrested Development, and for a possible two years. I missed the second season because of scheduling conflicts with other shows and had planned on catching up on DVD. I'll have to work on that over the summer.
• Finally, I read something yesterday about ABC possibly putting a new show in LOST's Wednesday 8-9 time slot. What that means for LOST, I do not know.

That's all far away, though, and right now I'm just trying to get through the next week, to May 25, when the season finales for all of my favorite shows will be done with and I can reclaim my life!

Edited to add: I just read at tvtattle.com that ABC is moving LOST to Wednesdays at 9:00 PM and Alias to Thursdays at 8:00 PM, with some new show airing at 8 on Wednesdays. I liked having both shows on Wednesday nights!

You can't make this sh*it up: "During their alleged captivity at Neverland Ranch, the family of Michael Jackson's accuser made several demands. Only the demands weren't about being set free--they were about body waxes, braces and 'f--king Cheetos.' "

Mystery Briton Doesn't Speak, Plays Piano: "Hospital chaplain the Rev. Steve Spencer said the man 'is not the virtuoso that he has been portrayed in the press. He knows a small number of tunes and plays them over and over I recognized some John Lennon and a snippet from Tchaikovsky's 'Swan Lake.'' "

He seems almost autistic. Like the article said, I imagine someone must be missing him.

Maine Series 3

Late afternoon waves.
May 2, 2005

Gotcha: "The finger that a woman said she found in a bowl of Wendy?s chili came from an associate of her husband who lost the digit in an industrial accident, police said Friday."

Will Vaughn live to see another season?

Looks like it: "While eager to leap into his film career, he plans to return for what the Alias cast widely believes will be the show's fifth and final year."

I just don't know if I'm happy that he'll be back or dismayed that next season will probably be the last one for Alias.

Good article, though.

Must be something in the water.

Michael's poisoned water, Sloane's tainted water supply...don't drink the water at JJ Abrahams house!

I thought LOST was better than last week, at least. I guess we found out who the little plane belonged to, and it’s sort of interesting that Kate’s childhood boyfriend was a doctor, like Jack. Or maybe it’s not all that interesting. Lol Most of the ep was just more filler, I think, leading up to the last few eps. Best parts both involved Walt – when he got spooked and told Locke not to open the hatch and when he told his father they had to leave the island. Those are the moments I watch this show for – I just wish there were more of them.

Alias was good. That whole orchid/bee thing was a little out there, and confusing, but all that matters is that we know it’s a bad thing, I suppose, lol.

My favorite scenes (as memory serves): Syd and Jack in the hospital room; Dixon, Syd, Vaughn and Nadia conferencing around the coffee table; all of Sloane’s memory scenes; and Jack calling Sloane Clone a “pathetic freak”. You tell him, Jack! It’s sort of weird that Sloane would name his baby girl after Jack, don’t you think? ;-) But her loss does go a long way in explaining Sloane’s need to be fatherly to Syd. Jack and Sydney’s relationship is full of more peaks and valleys than a rollercoaster – you could feel the closeness between them when she was helping him in the hospital room and then *bam* she slams the door on him when she finds out that he knew that Sloane had tampered with the water supply, setting the stage for the addition of the orchid stuff.

Did we ever see McCullough when he worked for SD-6? I wasn’t sure if I recognized him or not. You know, I think they’re all the Worst.Spies.Ever – was I the only one who knew that McCullough was putting cyanide in his drink? I mean, come on – who carries their own packets of Splenda around with them? Any guesses as to who his ‘employer’ is? Auntie Elena, perhaps? Or someone else, perhaps? Hmmm…And is there any connection between the Hydrosec and this orchid nectar? They are both delivered via the water supply.

So next week’s is 2 hours – is that the finale?

Hate to say I told you so...

Bye-bye, Anthony.

Main Series 2

Windswept. May 2, 2005

Yeah, well, Jesus doesn't forgive bad spelling, moron.

Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks is is just plain crackers, I think.

"If idolatry offends you, look not to the left."

I caught up with Deadwood last night, and what a completely awesome and draining episode that was. I was already on emotional eggshells after Vonzelle's mini-breakdown on American Idol got me to crying and Deadwood just did me in.

Quick Idol remarks: Bo was hot in his second song, so I think he's safe, but it's anybody's guess, really, as to who among Carrie, Anthony and Vonzelle will be going home tonight. IMHO. If pressed, I'd say that Vonzelle will get the sympathy vote and Anthony will go.

On to Deadwood...I can't really remember all that much now that it comes to it. Briefly: Every scene in Doc's cabin was just heartbreaking - Timothy Olyphant was killing me, just killing me; Poor Tom Nuttall, crying in the alley under the stairs; Jane was happily sober, and compassionate, and funny; Al was back to his wonderful, cutthroat self; Doc's humanity is still a blessing as well as a curse, and he's still battling with the Almighty; and I say a huge thank you to the writers for the whole Richardson Antler Worship. I needed that laugh.

I want to re-watch, I think I need to, but I think a short interval away would be in order. Besides, LOST and Alias are on tonight!

A life? What? I should get one?

Maine Series

Seaweed in a tidal pool. May 2, 2005

Amalgamation and Capital

With my previous busy week, I was unable to catch up on my missed Deadwood episode until late this Sunday, and WHOA. I can't believe I wasn't spoiled in the meantime.

Nothing in depth, just a few quick notes:

• I think the best line of the night went not to Al this time but to Miss I when she told the hovering Farnum to "F*ck off."
• I know it goes without saying but I'll say it anyway - Wolcott is one crazy man. His baiting was Mose was electrifying. I can't figure out, though, why he would want Bullock brought over.
• Charlie Utter takes a little piece of my heart each week. I think that besides Sol, he is the only truly principled man in Deadwood, or at least the only one whose conscience doesn't let him turn the other way. He and Jane are just spectacular together. How they can make me smile while feeling so sad is beyond me.
• Jane and Joanie have hit it off nicely. I know that Jane spent some time in real life as a prostitute at the Gem, so I think I know where this relationship is going. "Queen Hooker", indeed.
• It was quick thinking on Alma's part to write that letter to Al about her blabbing to Miss I and almost ruining Alma and Al's pact.
• I was glad to see Martha and Alma make a sort of tenuous peace between each other, but that may be for naught now because...
• ...if poor William dies, that'll be one less reason for Bullock to stay with Martha (although did promise to take care of them both), especially since Alma will be carrying his own child. The buildup to the accident had me pulling my hair out, it was so tense. While I was worried the whole time that something was going to happen to William, it was still a shock when it did happen.

I'll be watching this one again tonight, followed by this past Sunday's episode. Thank God for HBO On Demand. The way TV should be.

Smelling Summer

The DOT guys were mowing along the highway this morning and the smell of the fresh cut grass got me to thinking about other smells that remind me of summer:

• coconut suntan lotion
• charcoal lighter fluid
• the ocean at low tide
• bug spray
• citronella candles
• campfires
• BBQ/Grilling

How about you?

I was just here. Where did I go?

Despite the fact that most of you know why posting has been a bit sporadic recently, I wanted to make at least a small effort to officially explain my absences.

Last Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my father's death so Sheila and I took a last minute trip up to our cabin in Maine. My father is buried nearby, at All Souls by the Sea Church, and we felt the need to be near him. I was very glad we were able to do it (thanks, Uncle Peter and Roseanne and everyone at my office who made sacrifices so I could get the time away), and it was a great comfort to be there. I took a slew of photos of the area scenery and greenery, so as soon as I get a chance to download them I'll start posting them.

No sooner was I back from Maine then I was on my way out the door again to visit a friend in New Jersey for her son's First Holy Communion. It was another whirlwind weekend (although one could almost call it a 'Lost Weekend') and I'm still recovering.

I'm back now for a bit, at least until I go away for a stay in a cabin at Mohawk Trail State Forest over Memorial Day weekend, so I'll do my best to keep up with things here, I promise!

The Gimp.

Whatever happened to Blair's cousin Geri?: "'When I was talking to David [Milch, creator of 'Deadwood'], I didn't quite get it. I was thinking more in terms of Miss Kitty on 'Gunsmoke.' And then when I saw the first script for the pilot, I was like, Whoooah!' At this she laughs. 'They did curse a lot then! And I hate to make this pun, but it was a fact of life.' "

"OK, Georgie, it's time to let Uncle Putin drive the car now."

So my girlfriend's 14-year-old daughter's socks weren't supposed to match.

I am so out of touch with today's youth.

Hey, Mr. I'm-Not-A-Crackhead - didn't you used to be Bobby Brown?

Watchin' the tube.

Big TV night last night!

At long, long last an American Idol results show that rocked. And I didn't even watch it. Scott Savol was sent packing, finally. In the spirit of Cinco de Mayo, I say...Adios, Muchacho!!
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LOST's "must-see" status has diminished a bit for me, I think. I was out working in the yard last night and completely forgot that it was on! There has been much too much time in between new episodes, and I think that's part of the problem. It's very easy to lose interest when you have to wait weeks for a new episode.

As a result, I started watching at 8:15, and so missed Boone's funeral. That didn't bother me at all, though, a reflection I suppose of how little Boone's character actually meant to me. Sayid's backstory was OK, and his terrorist friend was the bomb! ( so to speak) Oh those eyes. I'm not all that enamored of puppy-dog Sayid who follows Shannon around, but I love Interrogator Sayid - or maybe it's the juxtaposition of the two that I like.

Terry O'Quinn was very good, as usual. I wish he would tell just one person about how he was paralyzed before crashing on the island. That might go a long way in explaining some of his behavior. Also, I was very happy to see Sawyer in his glasses again. Jack and Kate...meh, who cares.
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Now Alias, on the other hand, has skyrocketed back to "must-see" status, with recent strong episodes, especially last night's. Victor Garber made me cry. Actually, he broke my heart, but Garner made me cry. A few notes:

• I finally felt that Jennifer Garner was there, emotionally. She seems to be flat this season and for the most part phoning in her performances. Her acting in the fake flashback was amazing - so much was conveyed in just her facial expressions.
• I was so happy to get so much backstory and character development on Jack. His apartment was perfectly suited to his character, wasn't it? And he has a cat! I wonder what its name is? Milo (Rambaldi), perhaps? His openness with Laura/Irina about his work, while in complete contradiction with his current closed-off personality, made perfect sense. His trust in her made Irina's betrayal that much more painful and explains why he shut down so completely.
• Well, Hol, you were sort of right about the doctor. I was so surprised that Jack had hallucinated it all. What a heartbreaking scene that was, seeing him sitting alone in that abandoned warehouse/crack den, injecting himself with whatever he was injecting himself with; I bet he never had a liquigel in his palm, either, but cut himself thinking it was there. Interesting that the main theme running through his hallucinations was the need for him to set things right with Sydney. Just thinking about it breaks my heart all over again.
• Michael Vartan looked so incredibly hot, especially in the scene where Sydney's dressed as her mother and looking in the mirror. That blue shirt with the jacket, his eyes...damn.
• Loved how Sloane knew where all the knickknacks should go, and his reaction to hearing that "Laura" only tolerated him.
• Sydney Bristow hereby passes on to her sister Nadia Santos the title of Worst.Spy.Ever (tm TWoP). First the necklace, now the laptop. God.
• That Elena is a bad mamma jamma, huh? Cool outfit she wore to break out the Hydrosec.

I'm really looking forward to these last few episodes of the season. Things are building nicely, and what with the imminent 'return' of you-know-who, I just can't wait.

Idolatry.

Quick review of this week's performance show:

Anthony - was just horrible. He should have been a little more gay, I think.

Scott - damned if he didn't do a good job on "Broadway", but he still has a shitty attitude and he NEEDS.TO.GO.

Vonzelle - Still adorable, but I'm worried about her after last night. Loved "Go US Postal Service!"

Bo - Dreamy. Whenever he sings a song, it's his version I hear in my head when I think of the song afterward. Did you hear the rumor that his girlfriend's 10 wks pregnant?

Carrie - Simon finally understands she's a fembot and calls her robotic. She's good, though.

Prediction: God help me, but I think Scott will hang in there, and it will be either Anthony or Vonzelle who goes. Of the two, I think it should be Anthony.

Brothers sending 2 tons of salami to troops in Iraq.

Ah, but where will they hide it?